Of Life and Death
by ACDiNosey
Summary: Ziva comes back from Israel and Tony finds himself in a tight spot... A dark plot unravels, can anybody save the day? TIVA, and McAbby thanks to popular demand.
1. Chapter 1

Ziva's trip to Israel wasn't going as well as she had hoped. Her dad, sitting at his desk, kept repeating:

"You will do it. Do not disrespect your father. You must do it! I demand it."

"I shall not", she answered. "I will not. Not even over my dead body!" The irony of this last sentence didn't escape her and she found herself half-smiling at his sick plan.

"Oh, you will", her dad answered, with a sly and enigmatic look which perplexed her and made her feel very uncomfortable.

Her flight would take her away from all this soon, and her father would have no power over her once back in the US. She would keep on living the free and exciting life she enjoyed so much. She would return to her loved ones, or rather to her friends and her loved one.

McGee had agreed to pick her up at the airport and was waving at her from the door of his car in the pick-up area in front of the terminal.

"I drive", she said with assurance.

"Oh no, Ziva, not my car!" McGee pleaded but resistance was futile. He could already see the nice glossy black paintwork on the door going to waste.

"Give me the keys, McGee", was the menacing answer.

The trip back home was short, but not so sweet for McGee. The car, however, managed to arrive in one piece and without any scratch, for which he let out a sigh of relief. As soon as they arrived at Ziva's flat, McGee's mobile started ringing:

"McGee, marine's body near Quantico, get back here stat."

"Yes Boss. Shall I bring Ziva?"

"What do you think McGee? "

"Yes, boss."

Ziva felt so happy on her way back to the office she couldn't stop grinning, much to a deconcerted McGee's amazement. NCIS felt like home, the team was her family, and she hoped she wouldn't have to go back to her father any time soon. She also knew deep in her heart that she would soon see Tony again and her heart pounded with excitement at the thought. Somehow, she was slightly annoyed with herself at the idea that she loved Tony. She wasn't quite sure why she was so infatuated with him and she knew there were an awful lot of other girls out there who wouldn't hesitate to pounce on him. But the heart wants what it wants...

Gibbs was already waiting for them outside.

"Welcome back, Ziva. McGee, where's DiNozzo?

I don't know, boss, I tried to call him but he didn't answer.

Well, try again and let's go, he'll join us there."

Tony was unable to answer. The pain in his legs was absolutely unbearable and he could hardly breathe.

The men who had kidnapped him up knew what they were doing. They knew how to pick you up in a busy street without anybody noticing. They also knew how to make you die a slow death, and Tony was not particularly hopeful about his situation.

There were no windows in the room, it was pitchblack and Tony suspected that the room was soundproofed - that is, other than the door as he could hear somebody on the other side of the wood panelled door. He was hoping that the team would soon realize something was wrong and would try to find him. He could feel his phone vibrating in his jacket pocket at regular intervals and those little buzzing intervals gave him the glimmer of hope he needed.

The men had shackled him to the wall and blown up both his knee caps with a 32 calibre. They knew that the shackles were too far up for him to sit and that, without his legs, he wouldn't be able to stand, slowly stifling as his raised arm prevented his chest from expending much or bleeding to death, whichever came first. He could feel the blood slowly oozing down what was left of his legs, and temporarily lost consciousness. He woke up again when his phone started vibrating again.

Tony wished he could just grab the phone in his pocket. This simple everyday task he had carried out carelessly so many times before was now so crucial and so beyond reach he couldn't help but welling up, wondering which of his dejected former girlfriends would subject him to this torture. He quickly realised that crying didn't help with his breathing and resolved to stop before quickly fainting again. The harrowing pain woke him up soon enough and Tony pulled himself together again. He knew he hadn't been abandoned as he could hear murmurs through the door, but his jailers were unlikely to come back until they had what they wanted, at which point he reckoned they would probably leave him to die.

Given his injuries, the pre-existing damage to his lungs and the fact that he was hanging by his arms, had probably dislocated his shoulders, was slowly bleeding to death and could hardly breathe, he counted he had only a few hours left to live. He would need to do something, and quickly, before losing consciousness for good. He briefly thought that Ducky would be proud of him for learning from him but lost that thought as soon as he realized he would probably be the next body on Ducky's table. He remembered that the guards hadn't actually relieved him of his gun, and contemplated the thought of putting an end to all this, if only he could get to it: the pain, the loneliness, the persistent sadness and seriousness that had overtaken him since Jeanne had left, all this was too much for him. He had grown, and he wasn't sure he liked that feeling.

Then Tony remembered he actually had so much to live for, so many little pleasures in life, like that time when he glued the Elf Lord to his keyboard. He thought about these few Hebrew words he had learnt to impress Ziva and decided to think about something else, as he still wasn't quite sure why he had even tried to do that. He had felt so silly doing so. Trying to impress girls was no longer his thing. Going after random chicks was no longer his thing. Jeanne had given him a taste for the real thing and, although he now remembered her as a good scene within the film of his life, he felt he was ready to move on but just hadn't found the one that would fill that void in him and make him whole again.

Suddenly, the pain flew back to his head and he started to see bright lights hovering in front of him. He remembered that time when he was convicted of murder and remembered the anger that overtook him on that occasion. The same overwhelming feeling was now rushing back in full force and so was the pain. The men had come back and were hitting him again. He started shouting and tried to respond to the blows but the shackles and his immobile though excruciating legs prevented him from fighting back. Tony realized they may have broken his jaw, but he didn't really care anymore. The pain in his legs was overwhelming and the rest of his body was numb in comparison. The men exchanged a few words before leaving the room. He didn't think much about it until he realised they didn't speak English. And somehow, this language didn't seem so unfamiliar but he couldn't put his finger on it. To be honest, he could hardly think anymore. He would soon pass out, he needed to have a plan, and it ought to be a quick one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the delay in updating, I've been offline for the past three weeks due to some works taking place in my street (o joy). As a result, I've just dropped in a couple of chapters. I'm sort of in a festive mood, so I found it really hard to get into the mood for this. Anyway, hope you like it. The story is developing slower than I intended, but, trust me, it is going somewhere. **

**Disclaimer : I don't own the characters but the story's mine.**

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McGee tried again to call Tony. After a few agonising rings, Tony's voice started in the strangest Italian accent Tim had ever heard:

"_you talking to me? If you are, then leave me a message."_

A hint of a smile made its way to McGee's lips but disappeared immediately as Tony's absence made itself obvious again.

"Boss, there's no answer still".

"What do you mean, no answer, McGee", Ziva asked, suspicious.

"No answer: it rings a few times and goes to voicemail. By the way, his message is hil..."

"McGee!" Gibbs interrupted.

He could see in Ziva's eyes that something was off and he knew exactly what it was. Tony never left his mobile behind him. He had seen him spend ages talking to random girls during work hours. Even when he was undercover with Jeanne, he still managed to answer whenever he was called. Today was an ordinary day, why should it be any different.

Ziva looked shaken, much to Gibbs's surprise. Gibbs had only seen her in that state twice: the first time when she killed Ari to save his life, and the other when she nearly died in the hands of that serial killer. He knew that she had developed a strong working relationship with her partner. She would know before all others that something wasn't right, and he, for sure, would take that sign seriously.

"McGee, can you trace him through his mobile?"

"Yes boss, but I'll need to get back to the office to do so. Do you want me to call Abby and ask her to check his mobile?"

"No, just go back. We'll grab a ride with Ducky when he gets here."

Gibbs didn't want to worry his forensic scientist unduly, and there wasn't that much left to do on the scene. McGee tried to protest but he refrained when he was shot by his boss's glaring blue eyes.

"Boss, do you really think that Tony's in trouble?"

McGee voicing what everybody thought wasn't helping and Gibbs lost his temper.

"I don't know McGee. Now, go and get on with it. I want a report in 30 minutes".

"But..."

"McGee!"

As the young officer scooted out, Gibbs called him back:

"McGee! Keep calling his mobile every five minutes until you get him or trace him.

McGee nodded and disappeared as quickly as he could. Gibbs glanced at Ziva. The Mossad officer had dutifully returned to her task and was sketching out the scene. Gibbs hoped Ducky would arrive soon and break the silence. Somehow for once he was lost for words and didn't know what to tell his liaison officer.

In spite of her calm demeanour, a lot of conflicting feelings were overwhelming Ziva : was Tony really in danger? Gibbs seemed to take the matter of Tony's absence very seriously. It was probably nothing. It had happened before, she tried to convince herself.

Deep down, she knew that Tony had never disappeared that long, not without ringing them or being contactable. _If only his mobile was turned off!_

A slow burning feeling was slowly taking over her chest at the thought something might have happened. _You should know better, Ziva, you are a trained Mossad officer. You are not meant to feel, just think and work! _She shut off her brain and concentrated on the task at hand, but the burning feeling stayed on while she sketched the scene.

She couldn't help feeling angry. Angry and helpless. She longed for McGee to call them back.

Tony knew he was drifting in and out of consciousness, but the niggling vibrations of his phone kept him awake.

_I've got to fight this. They obviously know something is wrong, they wouldn't keep calling..._

Somehow this thought comforted him and he vouched that he would stay awake and conscious for as long as he could. If only he could keep breathing that long.

The phone vibrations were starting to drive him crazy. He was desperately trying to focus long enough to find a way to turn his phone on and tell them... _What would I tell them? I don't know where I am, what has happened to me and I can hardly talk._ Well, he would at least hear them. The boss would reassure him, and maybe Ziva would be worried for him.

Unconsciously, that thought made him smile. The idea that _his _ninja-chick might be worried for him had some appeal.

The phone was ringing once more and Tony decided to act. The any touch function was turned on, so it would automatically answer the call if any of the buttons were hit. And well, there was a wall he could hit. The thought wasn't appealing, but in a last ditch effort, he turned his chest sideways and thrust himself at the wall as hard as he could, pushing on his legs to and gasping for breath.

"Argh", he cried in agony.

"Tony?" a small voice answered.


	3. Chapter 3

"Tony?" a small voice answered.

Through the throbbing pain and the dark spots that kept appearing in front of his eyes, Tony could hardly interpret that glimmer of hope and recognise the voice.

"Yeah, 'tsme."

"Tony, where are you"

Tony caught a lungful of air before answering in one breath.

"Dunnotsalldarkhere"

"Tony, are you ok?"

McGee could hear the distress in Tony's breathless voice. The distant moaning, and groaning and the panting he could barely hear was not reminiscent of Tony's alleged lustful days and nights.

"McGee, I've got a bit of a problem" Di Nozzo managed to mumble, just loud enough for Tim to hear. Tony was trying to keep face in front of his probie, but was suddenly facing his mortality and realising that help may not come fast enough, panicked and added:

"Probie, tell Gibbs I need him fast."

The urgency in Tony's voice sent a shiver down Tim's spine. With his febrile hands, he dialled Gibbs's number on his desktop phone.

"Tony, I'm trying to trace your phone. You don't need to talk but please keep your phone on for as long as you can."

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"Gibbs."

"Boss, Tony's in trouble."

_I knew it_, Gibbs thought silently.

"What's the trouble McGee."

"Boss, I can hardly hear him, but he sounds in pain and panicked. He doesn't seem to know where he is."

"McGee, have you located him?"

"It's just come up on screen boss"

"_McGee" _a shrilling voice pierced Gibbs's ear

"What was that Tim".

"Tony. I muted my phone to talk to you."

"Where is he McGee?"

"Going Est. A warehouse compound. 7 - 11 Virginia Road. Can't be more precise."

"Good job McGee. Stay with Tony, and call to me if you get anything else".

Gibbs hung up the phone. "Ziva, drop everything, we've going."

Ziva didn't need to know any more. Tony was in danger. Gibbs would never abandon a crime scene if it wasn't for the life of his agents.

What sort of nightmarish plot has he got stuck in, she wondered.

"Tony?" she asked tentatively.

"Yes", Gibbs answered, looking sideways in her direction. Her features didn't let any feeling go through, but her eyes betrayed her.

"Tony's in a warehouse somewhere. 7-11 Virginia Road.

Ziva's back straightened a bit more than it should have, Gibbs thought. He let that go whilst rushing at the wheel. He remembered that day Tony went overboard to save his life. He would always owe him one for this. And today may be a good day to pay him back.

"McGee", the shrilling voice repeated.

A few seconds' silence enabled him to catch his breath.

"Tony. I'm here. You ok?"

"I've seen better days." Di Nozzo responded.

"Tony, Gibbs and Ziva are on their way to you".

_Thank God, _he tought.Gibbs and Ziva were both at the top of his rescue list, and he was glad to know they were on their way.

"Tony?" McGee called. Only silence answered. "Tony?" he repeated.

"I'm still here. I can't breathe".

McGee didn't know what to say to appease his senior agent. Their relationship had always been based on jokes and camaraderie, but Tony's distressed voice made any attempt at a joke completely inappropriate.

"Tony, Gibbs and Ziva are on their way" he repeated. "Hang in there."

"Tim. I just wanted you to know..."

"Tony. We're coming to get you, you don't need to..."

"Probie, listen... Muffled jacket sounds came through for a second, stifling some of the sounds coming through." "...know. I just wanted you to know. You're the best probie I could have dreamt of. You'll make a brilliant senior agent."

Tim was extremely touched at the remark and grew a bit emotional. "Tony... There's no need for..."

"Listen McGeek. I... breathing... blood... not much time."

"Tony, stay on please."

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The voice was almost imperceptible and yet it was the most reassuring sound he had ever heard. He was never so glad to hear the voice of his probie in his whole life. To keep his breath, he decided to remain silent and hear the voice ramble on a bit longer.

"Tony, I'm gonna call Gibbs, back in a minute, stay on".

"No McGee" Di Nozzo protested. Silence succeeded to almost silence. And in this silence Di Nozzo fainted.

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"Boss, you need to hurry."

He hang up. He didn't need to know any more.

The compound was huge. Warehouse after warehouse. This was going to ages.

Ten warehouses were facing them, numbered 70 to 80. Gibbs asked Ziva to go left but she had already started running in the other direction, so he went towards the westernmost side of the yard, starting with the first one.

Something was wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it. He went in the first warehouse. It was absolutely empty and he strongly doubted he'd find anything there.

All of a sudden, he realised what was wrong. Ziva knew exactly where she was going.

That thought scared him. He turned back on his toes and ran back outside. He ran back towards the other end of the yard, only to realise that Ziva had vanished.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The characters still don't belong to me and the story still does...

Special thanks to Poisonivy231 for the encouragement. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

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Ziva left her mobile in the car, picked up her gun and started running. No need to wait for orders, she knew were she was going. The address was a bit of a giveaway, but the warehouse number... She felt almost insulted by the whole puzzle.

She ran as fast as she could towards the penultimate warehouse, in which she hoped, no, knew, she would find Tony. As she approached the entrance to the warehouse, she started to panic. All of a sudden, the pieces of the jigsaw just merged together and everything became picture clear. It was a very dark and ugly picture indeed.

Ziva drew her gun out of its holster and took a deep breath. Her back was poised against the corrugated iron wall of the warehouse. She was ready to kick the door and rush in, but somehow, she couldn't quite pull herself together.

_Why did he take Tony? How would he know? _

She sighed lengthily and remembered Tony. This last thought spurred her on and she burst through the door.

There were more of them than she thought and they seemed to be waiting for her. _Damn_, she thought, _there was probably a camera out there._

They started surrounding her. She decided she would keep her ammunition as a last resort and started fighting. There were at least 12 of them, but that wouldn't stop her. She knew that they would not kill her. Not until they had got what they wanted out of her.

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Gibbs was looking around aimlessly, vainly hoping to find his agent and/or his liaison officer when the phone rang.

"McGee?"

"Gibbs, I lost him", screamed a very agitated voice at the other end of the line.

"McGee, calm down. What do you mean you lost him?"

"Well, the phone is still on, but he's not answering anymore."

_DAMN! _He thought. _What has Di Nozzo done this time?_

"McGee, send a bus here"

"Yes Boss. Is Tony...?"

"I don't know, McGee... Tim?"

"Yes Boss?"

"Could you break it to Abby, we may need her help. And Tim... Join me here as soon as you can, I think I'll need some back up."

_Gibbs said I. That's odd. Where's Ziva?_

"Boss, can't Ziva..."

"Damn, McGee. She's gone. I don't know where she is! This place is massive and I've got two agents astray. Now please go talk to Abby and get here stat."

"What do I do with Tony?"

"He's out, McGee, hang up."

"But boss, he's..."

Gibbs hung up, his nostrils flaring with anger. He knew Tim was a good agent, and doing what he had been taught to do, but DAMN, this was a mess and he didn't know where to start. He looked around again. There wasn't much out there. Trees and bushes bordering the road, and a nice, neat row of warehouses over hundreds of meters. All the rest was just dry, dusty dirt under a grey cloudy sky.

Staying out there wouldn't help. He went back to the car and called Ziva's mobile. The car rang back at him.

_DAMN! SHE should knows better. _

Ziva had ran out to the east of the yard, so he decided to start with the first one and work his way back to the easternmost point of the yard.

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McGee had taken the steps, and crept behind Abby, hoping that this extra time would give him the guts he needed.

"Come on, Major Mass Spec, you used to be faster than that. AAAARGH! McGeeee! You scared the hell out of me. I've just found out that the bits of dust you found on Corporal Smitter's hand were actually make-up. This means that... McGee, are you listening to me?"

Tim had sat down whilst waiting for the verbal diarrhoea to cease. He knew he was rubbish at lying and his face would give it away.

"McGee, what's the matter. Is someone... Oh my God, who's dead, injured.... Timmy, what, wh..."

"Shhhh". He stood up, brought another of the lab's stools near his, gently took Abby's arm and sat her down. With her compensated boots she didn't even need to lift herself up to sit down on the high stool.

"McGee, you're so... Solemn. You scare me, please tell me what's going on." Her voice was getting weaker and weaker.

"Abby, I'm afraid Tony's..."

"NO! Not Tony..." She interrupted. Tears started flooding from her eyes and he leant over to take her into his embrace.

"Abby, Tony's been kidnapped. We don't know exactly where he is but Gibbs is on the case. We just know that he's injured and that he needs our help. Now, Gibbs has asked me to go and join him so..."

"But Timmy, you can't go. I need you here, we'll process evidence. Plus, Ziva can help Gibbs. She's much better than you in the field. She kicks butts!" Abby said with a half smile. Her voice was regaining a tiny bit of confidence.

Tim hadn't taken too kindly to that last remark. He knew full well that Ziva was a better field agent, but he was working hard to shake off that geek image and improve his field skills to impress Abby, and she hardly seemed to noticed.

"Abby", he said a bit callously. "Ziva's sort of... vanished and we've got no evidence to process."

He realised this had come a bit harshly.

"I'm sorry Abs. I'll send you something as soon as I get there, but please, please, I just need to go back out there."

He turned her back on her and walked towards the door. He knew that she was silently crying and he hated himself for it. He stood by the door for a second, butterflies raging in his stomach and turned back to give her a hug. She pushed him away.

"Go, Timmy. I can see you've got no time for me and Major Mass Spec right now", she spurted in a accusatory tone which took Mc Gee by surprise "But if ANYTHING happens to Tony, Tim, ANYTHING, I will never forgive you"

"Thanks Abbs". The rush of emotions that had overtaken him boiled over. He grabbed her head in his hands and planted a swift kiss on her lips before running towards the door.

Abby looked blankly at her screen, her mind numbed by the torrent of information that she was left to process in the privacy of her lab. She stood in silence for a minute. In spite of the dreadful news about Tony and Ziva's disappearance, she couldn't help but ponder at McGee's kiss. Tears continued to flow as a tentative smile made its way to her lips.

"Love you too, Timmy"

Then a beep was heard and the forensic analyst went back to the Smitter case.

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Ziva knew she was overpowered. She had managed to take four of them down, killing two and knocking out the other two, but the other eight had grabbed her and thrown her onto a chair. She wriggled and kicked and fought as much as she could, but to no avail. A large shadow appeared above her. Suddenly, a hard, cold, iron bar collided with her head. A black curtain went over Ziva's eyes, and Ziva lost consciousness.

_Right, I promise next chapter will get some Tiva interaction, and maybe some explanation about what is actually going on. Trust me it IS going somewhere, I just don't want to rush it._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: See last chapter, it hasn't changed.**_

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Ziva briefly regained consciousness, and was immediately brought to her feet and pushed towards a closed door.

_Now, let us put these years of training to good use, _she thought_. I may only have one second to see what's inside that room._

Oddly enough, she was right. As soon as they opened the door, she noticed the darkness inside, something glimmered for an instant in the near left corner - _a video camera?-_ and an indistinct heap in the opposite corner, facing the door.

Her assailants pushed her into the room and closed the metallic door behind us. Ziva lost her footing and fell heavily to the ground, hands first.

"Ow."

She listened attentively to the locks closing behind her. "_Five-point lock."_

Still dazed by the shock to her head, she sat still for a minute, getting used to her surroundings.

"_Ziva David, you have received all the survival training you need in the world. You know what to do. Now, get up and get to work."_

A ray of light filtered from under the door. Her eyes became accustomed to the surrounding darkness. Silence was oppressing. Well, apart from that cyclical, rasping, breath-like sound –

"Tony!" she screamed, dragging herself to the heap on the floor.

"Tony! Tony, wake up!"

She could barely see her partner's face, but she knew he wasn't in good shape. His face was clammy and cold in her hands. She slapped him a couple of times, hoping that he would regain consciousness – to no avail.

Her febrile hands patted Di Nozzo's body to assess the extent of his injuries. She could feel the blood slowly trickling from his legs. She undid his tie and with her teeth, ripped the silk into two long strings which she tied around his thighs to stop the bleeding. She would just leave them long enough for the bleed to stop.

_Tony will probably kill me when he realises I have sacrificed his prized silk tie._

The rasping gasps of her partner were getting to her. Her hands found his and realised why Tony was unconscious. His arms were pulled high above his head, constraining his chest – _already weakened by the plague, _she remembered. Being unconscious, his bodyweight had led to his wrists being badly damaged and one of his shoulders dislocated.

Ziva realised she needed to act quickly to save her partner. She would need to pull Tony's body up long enough to undo his shackles. But how?

"_Focus, Ziva, focus, you do know how to do this."_

She fondly remembered Tony's attempts at impressing her with his lock picking skills when she first joined NCIS.

"_That's it!"_

She rummaged through her hair and discovered to her relief that her hairpins were still in place. She took one out and grabbed it between her teeth before tending to Tony again. Now she needed to find a way to lift him long enough to unlock his handcuffs.

She sat next to him for a second and checked his breathing. The shallow rasping sound was unchanged and shallow. Now was as good a time to start as any and, for Tony's sake, the earlier the better. She crouched next to her partner, slid her arm behind his back and placed her hand under his armpit so that she could lift him up. Now was the tricky part. She'd need to lift him up enough to slide behind him and rest her back against the cemented wall. She took a deep breath and lifted him.

His limp body was much heavier than she had expected. She had managed to get behind his back and was pushing hers against the wall, her thighs parallel to the ground. _"My years of practice are going to come handy"_, she thought. She lifted Tony's body slowly and placed her hand on his backside to lift him up.

On any other occasion she would have smiled, but the strain in her thighs was already starting to burn, and she had just sat him on her lap. She felt detached from the whole situation, unable to maintain focus on the situation long enough to work efficiently. The faded image of Tony's face and smile were haunting her, and bore no resemblance to the unconscious body she was tending to. She should have listened harder when told never to let feelings take over. Well, it was too late for that.

Now was time to pick the locks that were enslaving Tony's wrists. She carefully took the hairpin she held in her mouth and started to pick the locks above her, blindly stabbing the locks in a vague attempt to open the handcuffs.

Di Nozzo's phone chose that instant to start ringing. She rummaged through his jacket, feeling his tight and muscular chest in the process. Her heart rate increased and she fought hard to keep the feelings bubbling up in her chest at bay.

She picked up the phone and pressed the button.

"Ziva David"

"Ahhh, My dear. I see you have found your friend and are taking good care of him."

"Good afternoon, dad."

"Now listen my dear, I know you will feel I am a little harsh with you, but we had an agreement."

"It was not an agreement. You coerced me into this, coming back to NCIS and..."

"Oh, that's not true my dear. The choice was yours, and you chose to go back to DC."

"Because that's where my true family is!"

"Ahh, Ziva, you have always been so fiery. I have given you long enough. Now the choice is out of your hands. Your little friend Di Nozzo will not be safe until you complete your mission. I have seen to it. When you are ready to go, just knock on the door and we will let you out. Just you", he added.

Ziva kept silent. She felt anger and hatred raging through her veins and knew that no word could ever change her father's mind.

"Zivaleh, do not forget that your father loves you. I am just doing what is best for you and our family." At this point he terminated his call.

Silence was back in the dark room. Ziva took a deep breath and brought the phone to her ear again.

"Gibbs?" she asked.

"Ziva, where are you?"

"I have found Tony."

"Where are you, is he ok?" Gibbs muttered. McGee was standing next to him, listening intently through the speaker.

"I am working on it. Listen..."

"Ziva, I've got a bus on standby. Let me know where you are and..."

"Gibbs!" she shouted. "Please, please listen to me. Nobody must approach us until I tell you it is safe to do so. Under NO circumstances must you try to find or rescue us."

"Ziva, I haven't got time for charades. Where are you?"

"Gibbs, promise me you will not..." Her voice was breaking and she knew her attempts to hide it were not entirely conclusive. She took a deep breath. "Boss, do you trust my judgement?"

"Ziva..." he sighed, worried and aggrieved. "What sort of trouble are you and Di Nozzo in?"

"Listen, I..." She just couldn't find words. "I... It is all my fault. Tony was just... Caught in."

She started sobbing. Gibbs turned the speaker off to save his agent any embarrassment. In the few years he had known Ziva, he had only seen her cry once, when she was nearly murdered by a serial killer. This was serious, and he knew it.

"Ziva? What do you need me to do."

"Please stay out until I let you know it is safe to do so. I have Tony's mobile. Tony is alive and I am taking care of him."

"I know he's in good hands, Ziva." She clearly needed some reassurance. "Can you tell me where you are?"

"Yes, as long as you promise me not to come in."

"I promise you, Ziva."

"We're in warehouse 78. There are 8 Mossad agents behind the doors, well, there were 12 but...Oh, and they will not hesitate to shoot. Tony and I are in a small room at the back of the warehouse. Gibbs, everything will be ok", she said, trying to convince herself just has much has her boss.

"I trust you, Ziva. We'll stay put until you call me back."

"Thank you, boss."

"You're welcome, Ziva."

She hung up the phone and went back to the lock picking. Her legs were seizing under the weight of her partner and she wouldn't be able to keep him on her lap much longer. Somehow, the pain running through her legs gave her mind the focus and clarity it needed for a second. She concentrated on the task at hand whilst counting her options. They were meagre, but there surely was a way out.

Finally the locks gave up and Tony's arms fell heavily by his side. She left herself slide down against the wall and sit down on the floor. She extricated herself from Tony's body and proceeded to move him on his side. His wheezing gasps for air were easing a bit and getting deeper by the minute.

She placed her hands on his back and was about to pull him on his side towards her, when she noticed something under his shirt. She lifted his shirt carefully, feeling awkward at this blatant breach of privacy.

"Bastard!", was all she had to say.

She stood up and started punching the air in an attempt to calm herself down. She looked in the direction of the camera and mouthed a few words in Hebrew carefully chosen for her father, who she knew was observing her.

All of a sudden, she realised how desperate the whole situation had become and crept back towards Tony. She started stroking his face and hair.

"Tony, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I was selfish. I should never have come back."

Tears were streaming down her face and falling on his. She didn't want him to see her like this. Ziva retreated to the opposite corner of the room, under the camera, out of her father's watchful eye and sat down, sobbing uncontrollably, her head buried in her knees.

"Ziva..." came a faint voice from the other side of the room.

She lifted her head up, unable to see Tony in the surrounding darkness.

"Oh Tony, I have put us in such a mess."


	6. Chapter 6

**First and foremost, thanks to all for reading and reviewing. You really make my day! If I had more than 30 mins Internet access I'd get back to each of you but I hope this forenote will do ******

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"Boss, what do we do now?" McGee enquired.

After his conversation with Ziva, Gibbs had hung up the phone, and sat down at the wheel again. He looked sad, McGee thought. Sad rather than angry. That was a new one for the boss and McGee wasn't quite sure how to interpret the downward looking eyes and serious frown.

"We wait, McGee, we wait" was Gibbs answer. "Keep the bus and call for another team to join us".

It sure wasn't a good day.

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Abby had been stuck in her lab for two hours, and nobody had called her. She had run out of CafPow and Corporal Smitter's clothes hadn't revealed anything she didn't already know. The powder had turned out to be just that: cheap make-up powder, not even a rare brand.

She decided to speed dial McGee.

"McGee", she started plaintively. "You said you'd keep me in the loop."

"Abs, I can't talk to you right know".

McGee's worried eyes kept glancing sideways in Gibbs direction, who was rolling his in exasperation.

"McGee, gimme your phone".

The agent did as he was ordered.

"Abby."

"Oh, Gibbs", she stuttered, worried. "Is it really that bad?"

"Abs, I really don't know, but Ziva's found Tony. He's in good hands."

"But then, if... What's the matter?"

"I don't know, Abs", was the irate answer. "Listen, I will keep you posted when we get anything."

"Ok, Gibbs. But you've got to promise me to bring everybody back safely. Even Tony."

"Abby, I can't..."

"Promise me."

Gibbs hung up. He had had enough girls begging for things he had no control over today.

That abrupt end was new to Abby. She sighed heavily, wondering if her magic powers over the boss were trying to wear off and moved back to Corporal Smitter's computer. She was still worried sick for Tony, and annoyed to be left out. She wanted to spur into action, analysing key evidence to her heart's content. Feel busy and valued. Feel useful. Instead, she was just stuck between four walls, with Bert and the Mass Spec for sole company. She sighed again, squeezing her favourite soft toy. Bert answered with a noisy fart.

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"Ziva", Tony repeated.

His voice was soft, longing and aching for an answer. Ziva knew he was in a lot of pain. Words hardly came out of his throat, as if broken.

Tony could hear Ziva sobbing. He knew it was her. Drifting in and out of consciousness, he had heard her talk in his phone and felt her reassuring hand on his face. On any other day he would have teased her about how she cared about him, but now he only longed for her to come and sit by him, stroking his head again.

His breathing had got easier; his senses were slowly coming back to him. Unfortunately, so was the pain. He tried to move his legs and winced. He could feel the cement floor under his cheek and wished he could sit up.

Until now Tony hadn't realised that he was untied. He was sure that this was all Ziva's doing, and he was thankful that she had come to rescue him. As his thoughts became clearer, so did his embarrassment grew. He was sprawled on the ground, unable to move and help his partner.

Tears shed, almost silently, were more painful to him than his legs or his shoulders. Piercing his mind, they left him feel helpless, powerless. Incapable of reciprocating the support she had given him over the years. He hated himself for appearing so weak, and tried to sit up against the wall, pushing his chest up with his hands.

"Argh", his scream resounded in the dark room. His legs had barely scraped the hard floor and yet it felt like they had been torn apart from the rest of his body.

Ziva ran over to him. Tony could hear her sniffle as she got near him. Her hand reached for her arm.

"Let me help you", she said weakly.

She stood behind him and placed her hands under his arms, pulling him up quickly against the wall.

"Aaahhh" a strangled scream came up again. He swallowed it quickly, along with his pride. Tony was way out of his comfort zone, and mortified that Ziva would find him in such a hopeless state.

"Tony, I'm so sorry". Ziva hoped that he would know she wasn't just talking about the pain. In the darkness, she could just make out his face, contorted in deep pain. In a great effort, his hand reached for hers. She seized his wandering fingers in her warn hand, squeezing it slightly. The physical contact calmed and relieved them both. Ziva proceeded to sit next to Tony, her tears now drying. They stayed silent, hand in hand, for a few bleak minutes, unknowingly bringing to the other the comfort and silent reassurance they needed.

After a few minutes that felt like hours, Tony broke the silence, his voice echoing weakly in the room.

"Ziva, are you alright?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, how are you?"

"I've had better days". Even in the darkness she could guess that his smug charmer smile was painted on his face.

"How did they get you?"

"I don't know. I was on my way to work, stuck at a traffic light. Next thing I know, I was here."

"Tony, what did they do to you?" Her voice was wrought with concern and guilt.

"No much really", he gasped. "Tied me to the wall and took off my kneecaps with an automatic. ."

Twice she startled at the pretend sound of the shots, her eyes tight shut, realising how much pain her partner was in. He felt her hand tightening its grip. He tightened his to reassure her.

"Don't worry, it's not as bad as it.. Owww. What was that about?"

She had released her hand from his grip, remembering about the ties to his leg. The bleeding had stopped and she didn't want to restrict the blood flow too long, as she knew he may lose his legs.

"What are..."

"I tied your legs with your tie to staunch the bleed in your legs."

"Wait, you did what? This was my..."

She sighed impatiently. Silence fell again between them, only interrupted by his occasional wincing as she tended to his legs.

They both knew how to communicate without words, but the dearth of light in the room meant that they couldn't rely on these visual clues and eye stares they were so adept at exchanging.

"_You're such a jerk", _Tony thought to himself. "_Your partner just saved your life and you complain about the loss of your favourite tie."_ He wished he knew how to talk to her, how to care for her. He wished he was better, less childish and obstinate, a man that she could like. Or love.

"_You're such a jerk", _she thought, looking at Tony's beautiful eyes. "_Why do I even care..." _Deep down, she knew why she cared. She just wished, she could, like Abby, expertly show her emotions or express her feelings. _"Abby!" _The thought of the forensic analyst had somehow given her an idea.

"Tony, does your phone have a flash camera?"

"Yeah" She noticed his voice had gone a bit weak again.

"Tony, you're ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He wanted his voice to be reassuring, mature and in control. It felt like a squeaky mouse was doing a ventriloquist act with his throat. "What do you want to do with my mobile?"

"Take pictures of your injuries. So that they can assess you outside."

"Wh... What do you mean outside? What's going on, Zi."

"Listen. Can I finish taking pictures and explain all afterwards?"

"Right, but can I take pictures of you and send them to Gibbs?"

Their minds both went back to those sweet times by the pool.

"_We were so much happier then..."_

"We were so much closer then", Tony murmured.

"What?"

"Nevermind." All of a sudden, his voice was tired and sadder.

Ziva sent the pictures to McGee's mobile, sure that he'd know what to do with them. She then slowly sat back down next to Tony. Silently. The light on the other side of the door went out. They were plunged in absolute darkness. It was as though time had stopped.

Ziva listened to Tony's breathing, and Tony to Ziva's. She felt on the verge of crying again. He felt tired, and his legs and right arm hurt beyond belief. But he would not show here. He would stay awake and good-humoured with his partner. "_I owe her that much", _he thought.

He stretched his left arm behind Ziva's back. And pulled her against him. She rested her head against his chest.

"Tony, I owe you the truth."

"In your own time, Ziva." His smooth but weary voice answered. "We have all the time in the world".

He kissed the top of her hair tenderly and laid back against the wall, waiting for the world to end.

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**Sorry to leave you hanging there. It really wasn't my intention. **

**I've already started on the next chapter, so I hope it will be added tomorrow. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Happy New Year everybody.**

**Thanks again for the reviews. They keep me writing.**

**Just a word of warning. I'm going back to work on Monday, so updates may be a bit slower. **

**Enjoy! Here's the answer to some of your questions.**

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The tune of Mission Impossible reverberated in the car.

"McGee!" shouted an irate and vindictive Gibbs.

The young agent blushed.

"Sorry boss. Errrr. Tony sent me some pictures. Of Tony. Oh boss, you want to see that."

"No, I don't", thinking about the infamous pictures of his team members that already circulated in the office. There would soon be enough to make a calendar.

"Boss, Ziva's taken pictures of Tony's injuries."

"Pass them on to the bus and send a copy to Ducky. Ask him to call me."

"On it, boss."

Truly, his legs were a mess. _There's no way he's going to walk any time soon... If at all, _Mc Gee thought.

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Ziva started factually:

"We are in a warehouse east of town. There were 12 Mossad agents in the warehouse. There are only 8 now. Gibbs and McGee are outside. Waiting for... me."

"Wh... Wait, wait... What has Mossad got to do with this?"

"Its a long story", she sighed. "And it's all my fault."

"Come on Ziva. Give yourself some credit. I'm sure that's not true."

She felt snug against his chest and, in spite of his injuries and the pain they provoked, Tony wished that this moment would never end. He didn't need to know why he was there; having his partner by his side was enough.

Ziva just couldn't find the words. How could she tell him that this was just... a disastrous accident. She was confortable. She could hear Tony's heart pounding against her head, and feel his breath on her hair.

"Ask me", she reluctantly said. "Ask me what you want to know and I'll tell you."

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"The injuries to his legs are horrendous, Jethro. He must be in a great deal of pain. I'm not sure he'll ever walk again."

Gibbs frowned at the thought. There were many head slaps awaiting.

"What else, Duck?"

"He's got a dislocated shoulder and abrasions to his wrists. Maybe fractures to his hands and wrists. He seems to be awake and alert on the pictures."

"Does he need urgent attention?"

"No, Jethro. Ziva has taken good care of him. It is most likely that the pain of his injuries will put a strain on his system."

"Thanks Ducky."

"Jethro?" the ME added, "do we know who is behind this?"

"No." Jethro was curt, today, Dr Mallard thought, things were probably not going as he wished they would."

"Shall I inform the Director?"

"Leave it to me, Duck." Upon which he hung up. Leroy Jethro Gibbs had no time for civility today. He was sure the ME would bear no grudge.

Mc Gee was patiently sitting in the car, playing Tetris on his mobile phone. He couldn't help feeling anxious for the two agents inside. His friends surely needed help and he felt powerless to support them. He kicked the dashboard with his foot, causing Gibbs to jump.

"Sorry boss. No actually, I'm not sorry. You're going to tell me is a sign of weakness."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"Anyway. Sorry, no, not. I'm just frustrated we can't go and help them."

Gibbs lifted his arm and made contact with the back of the agent's head.

A grin appeared on Tim's face, much to the amazement of a disconcerted Gibbs. It seemed the chastising effect of the slaps were wearing off, or turning into a badge of honour, one that could only be borne by his team. Well, maybe it wasn't such a back thing after all, he reflected with a wry smile.

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"How did you find me?" started Di Nozzo. He treaded carefully, aware of Ziva's change of mood. Buried in his shoulder, she seemed more fragile than he had ever seen her, and he knew that she felt exposed and vulnerable. Tony felt exactly the same, injured and unable to be of any help. He didn't want her to know that he was in pain.

"Your phone", she responded hurriedly. "McGee located you. We all knew that something was not right this morning when you did not turn up."

"Well, that wasn't the first time I was late!"

"No, but you had not called and you were not answering your phone. Anyway, there was no reason for you to be where your phone said you were, so Gibbs and I came to find you."

"But how come _you_ are here?" He asked inquisitively.

She sighed. _Oh dear, how can I tell him? _She couldn't face the idea that he was going to feel angry with her, and maybe to hate her for what she had done.

"Tony, I..." She repeatedly shook her head, much to Tony's bewilderment. He noticed her agitation and caressed her arm to appease her.

"I... betrayed you all."

"What do you mean?" Tony was intrigued.

"When I came back to NCIS, when Gibbs reunited us, I... Well, I came back under false pretence. I'm actually running a mission for my father."

Tony was shocked. He wasn't entirely sure what to think about this revelation.

"Can you tell me what your mission is about?"

"Do you really want to know?", she snapped back, turning her head towards me.

Her eyes locked with his. "Do you realise knowing this may cost you your life?"

"Well, then I guess I'd rather know what I'm dying for."

Ziva got up, carefully prising herself out of Tony's embrace and walked to the other side of the room, looking in the direction of the camera. Tony could hear her groaning and jumping, before silence fell again. _At least we cannot be heard_, Ziva reassured herself after checking the camera. She slid down against the wall.

"My father sent me back to kill somebody. He sent me back to kill Gibbs".


	8. Chapter 8

"Wh... What? You... You came back to NCIS to kill Gibbs?"

The Senior Agent could not but display his rage. His breathing became laboured again as he could feel his blood pulsing through his head.

"How could you, Ziva, how could you do that to us? How dare you?" He shouted.

His anger was well justified, yet Tony was surprised at the rage that overtook him. "Ziva, you're a traitor, you betrayed us all, you betrayed _me. _You _lied _to _me._ I trusted _you_ with my life and you only cared about killing Gibbs!"

"NO", she shouted back. At his words, she felt like she had been stabbed in the heart. Tony _had_ trusted her, and she had now lost his respect forever.

A deadly silence fell like a curtain between them, only interspersed by Tony's panting and Ziva's ashamed sobs.

_Damn, I've made her cry_, Di Nozzo thought. In spite of his anger, he felt guilty at the idea that _he _had made her cry.

Ziva broke the silent again. She felt that she needed to explain herself, in a vain attempt to regain Tony's trust. "I did_ not_ want to take that mission on. It was my only way back. You think that it was that easy to convince my dad to send me back? Do you think that I did nothing else during these four months, that my father kept me at home like a little girl?" Her voice was angry at the accusations proffered by her partner. "Do you think that I had a choice?"

"You could have decided _not_ to come back" Tony said, regretting his words immediately. To his surprise, she agreed.

"Yes, I could have. And believe me, I really tried. I just felt like... like I had lost my family, Tony. The team, they are the family I always wished I had. I found a caring father in Gibbs, an uncle in Ducky, a brother in Tim and a crazy sister in Abby. And all of a sudden they were gone, Tony. Gone. What would you have done in my place? I had to come back."

Tony felt his heart tighten as she finished her sentence. She had left him out.

"Why would your father want to kill Gibbs?" His voice was coarse and unsympathetic.

"Because he thinks Gibbs killed Ari." She answered.

Tony was prompt to pick up on her answer. "What do you mean _thinks_? Didn't Gibbs kill Ari?"

"No, he did not. I did."

Tony froze. His legs felt colder and colder and his heart kept tightening in his chest. Of his injuries and Ziva's words, he wasn't sure which were worse. He wished he had never asked. He wished that he could go back to a time when Ziva wasn't trying to kill the boss, when he still had kneecaps and when Ziva was the strong, opinionated partner he cared about.

He could now see that she had mourned her brother's death more keenly than he had ever thought. All this time, a deep sea of emotions had been locked beneath her calm and cold demeanour, only to burst open at the worst possible time.

Tony wondered how many of them knew that she had killed Ari.

"Only Gibbs knows, Tony. I... I meant to tell you but..."

"No you didn't Ziva."

Tony knew his partner so well he could read through her lies. She in return noticed the screen of sarcasm behind which her partner was trying to hide.

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Ten minutes had passed. Everything was still and cold around them. Both of them were lost in their thoughts.

Ziva's guilt and shame had reached new levels. She couldn't bear thinking about what she had done, and what she had failed to do and say to her injured partner. She couldn't bear the thought that she had lost his trust and respect forever. She was angry to have shown her emotions, to have _cried_ in front of Tony, showing a flaw in her tough armour.

Tony, on the other hand, was slowly seeing his anger decrease. In its place, an uncomfortable numb feeling of disappointment and sadness was taking over. The agent was disappointed by his own reaction, knowing how much it would cost Ziva to open up to anybody. He should have felt flattered that she trusted him so intimately, but couldn't help noticing how she was trying to keep him at bay, carefully positioning herself as far as she could from him. She had lied to him, hidden her life from him. She didn't consider him as part of the team, as part of her family, and that was stinging a lot more than any of the injuries he sustained. He too knew that the team was his surrogate family, but Ziva had always been part of it. He was now more alone than he had ever been.

"Tony?" a familiar voice called again. Her hand was tentatively touching his hand, soft and warm. She shook his arm a bit. "Tony? Are you still awake?" Her voice was calm but he could tell that she was anxious.

His hand was cold and still. She took hold of his fingers, drawing little circles with her thumb on the back of his hand. She had called him quietly, dreading that only silence would respond. After a few long, agonising seconds, she heard his weak voice say "I'm here, Ziva".

His voice was calm and neutral. Tony couldn't leave the room or avoid her, so he had decided to adopt her own tactics: a calm, indifferent voice which wouldn't let any of his deep emotions show. His mind however, was in deep turmoil. Processing all facts she had given him, he realised that a thousand questions remained unanswered.

Ziva sat down next to him again, just out of reach from his embrace, which she knew he wasn't going to offer.

"Why would your father ask _you_ to kill Gibbs?". His voice echoed in the dark empty space.

_Oh, do you not see, Tony... _Tears breamed to her eyes but she swallowed them. "Have you felt like you were not good enough Tony, like you didn't count?"

_All the time, Ziva, all the time. I disappoint a lot: my dad, Gibbs, Timmy, you, Ziva. I will never be good enough for you._ Tony remained silent.

"Well, my father always felt that my sister and I were second class citizens. Good enough to be Mossad agents, but never quite good enough to be part of his life. After Ari's death, he became a harsher man in search of revenge. He resolved that he would avenge his only son. That he would get Gibbs killed."

"Your father has hundreds of highly-trained Mossad agents under his command. Why choosing you?"

"Tony, this has nothing to do with Mossad. This is a family affair. My father does not care if I live or die, as long as his son's killer dies. Sacrificing his only remaining daughter to avenge his only son is a fair price to pay in his eyes."

Tony felt aggrieved at these last words. He could sense her tears slowly dropping on her soft cheek and falling onto her lap. A hard life of sacrifices was all Ziva had ever known. Shielding her emotions and forgetting how to live, how to love, was all she had ever been taught. She was the most independent, private, passionate person he had ever known and yet her heart was held prisoner behind thick walls of rules, rationality and repressed feelings.

His arm reached over to her, barely managing to touch hers. He felt her move away from him and sighed. It struck him how alike they were. Both prisoners of their own minds, unable to express their feelings, keeping them at bay lest they should get hurt. Both running away from serious feelings, serious questions. Both risking their lives to give them a sense of purpose. Both lost in their own way.

She heard him stir next to him. To her relief, silence, like a wall, was tearing them apart. The scrapping sound of his shoes dragged on the ground woke her from her thoughts. She knew he was moving towards her. In spite of the throbbing pain, of his anger, in spite of the truth, he was reaching for her. His arm grabbed hers firmly and pulled her against him.

His heart warmed when he felt her accepting his embrace. Much to her dismay, hers was filled with sadness at the thought of all the pain she had caused him. She could feel his left hand reached for her face, carefully drawing her curls away from her face and drying her tears. The softness in his voice made her shiver.

"Ziva. I'm so, so sorry. Please talk to me. I just want to know, to understand." He felt her try to escape his embrace and tightened his grip.

"Ziva, I... I just want to know..." He gritted through his teeth. "Why me? Why did they kidnap _me?"_

"I wish you had not asked, Tony." He could feel her head moving uncomfortably against his chest and her heart pounding. "My father kidnapped you because he knew..." She sighed. "...he knew that you were the _real_ reason I had come back to NCIS. He knew that I would do anything to find you, even if that meant killing Gibbs. When I came back and realised you were still an agent afloat, I seriously thought about returning to Israel. During my last trip there, I tried to change my father's mind, I tried to get away from the mission, from them." She moved her face towards his. "I... I..." She felt her finger against her lips.

"No need for more, Ziva." She pulled away, broken at the idea that her feelings weren't reciprocated.

Tony noticed her reaction and realised what she was thinking. He tried to turn towards her but failed miserably. So he relinquished his embrace and seized her face with his left hand.

"Ziva, listen to me", he said, his face inches from hers. "I would have done the same thing for you. I would kill for you. I would give my life for you."

For the first time in her life, she felt warm and fuzzy inside. His face was tentalizingly close to him. She took his hand in hers, and leant forward, feeling his breath against her chin. Her hands moved to his chest, slowly down to his waist. She didn't dare coming any closer in case... And then it hit her in full face. She pushed herself away from Tony.

"You may regret saying this Tony. My father strapped a bomb to you."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Yet another chapter for you all. Thanks to all those who have signed up for updates and special thanks to Samleigh for continued support. Due to the lack of reviews and limited traffic, I have very much felt like leaving the story where it is now (in my head). So if you like it, let me know. I know pretty much where this is going, but if there's something you'd like to see, feel free to let me know. **_

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"What do you mean, a bomb?"

"Well, a remotely controlled detonator attached to some sort of explosive."

"Thanks, Ziva, I know what a bomb is. Where?"

In the darkness, she put her hand on his chest, slowing sliding down and then back up when she reached the belt of the device, touching his skin. Tony twitched as she touched his skin. Her hands were soft, but very cold. Ziva's senses woke at the touch of his skin. His skin was warm and soft. She felt his muscles tense as she touched him and felt herself blushing and warming up. Her fingers tingled with lust and excitement. She was glad he couldn't see her.

"There."

His left hand grazed her arm before reaching for hers on his skin. He gently imprisoned her fingers in his, his eyes begging for hers in the dark. His lips collided with her hand, which he kissed and then gently pulled for her body to get closer to his. Losing her balance, she ceded to the embrace and tucked her head in his broad shoulders.

"I do not know", was her unequivocal answer. "My dad can see us and, let us face it, I cannot stay here forever."

"Can he hear us?"

"I do not think so."

"Good." Di Nozzo was thinking hard, trying not to lose consciousness in the process. He felt weaker and weaker, but her presence made him stronger, and her anxious sighs against his chest reminded him that he needed to be strong for her. Now was not the time for jokes and banter. Now was the time for all the good in Tony to come out and save the day.

His brow furrowed as his eyes shut tight with pain. Black lights were dancing in front of his eyes.

"Ziva, what's out there? I mean, what would happen if you stepped out of the room?"

"My father told me I and I alone can get out of the room. The goons outside will let me go without intervening, but I will not leave you alone with them. Beyond that, there is Gibbs and probably other NCIS agents by now. And a lot of warehouses. I cannot go out Tony. And yet you have to. I can see that."

"What would happen if I tried?"

"I would not bet on it but I think my father would blow you up."

He sniggered, perturbed by the coldness and factual inflexion of her voice.

"Wait. You said there are a lot of warehouses out there. So how did you find me?"

She smiled. "My father left me clues. The address and warehouse number spelt my date of birth".

Silence fell again between them. The absence of noise and light, the acrid smell of dust and humidity, the pain and the softness of their bodies huddled together were reassuring. Out of the darkness, Tony's voice created hope for Ziva. Ziva's touch calmed her partner, although his future appeared bleakly in front of his eyes. _If she goes away, I'll have nothing to live for: no job worth doing, no cause worth fighting for, no partner to protect. No love. _Until this instant, he had never realised he actually loved Ziva. And in his chivalrous mind, this could mean only one thing.

"Ziva... Please just go."

She straightened at his words, but remained within the confines of his arms.

"No, Tony. I will not leave you. I will not let you sacrifice yourself for me."

"Come on Ziva, it wouldn't be the first time." He fondly remembered those times spent undercover with her. "Plus, look at me. I'm useless, slowly dying anyway. I've got no family to speak of and you all keep reminding me I could be better at my job. I know full well I'm not irreplaceable. You'll find somebody else, somebody better."

His last comment was meant for her and her only and she took it as such. She felt slow tears gushing out between her eyelids but remained silent.

"Go out, Ziva. Get away from it all. Run for your life. Just... Promise me you won't look back. Surely this will free you from your father's contract. He will have nothing left to blackmail you with."

"And neither will I" she answered.

He wasn't quite sure what this meant. She clarified: "I will have nothing left either. I came back for you Tony. If you... if you died, I would probably do too. I would never be able to live with myself."

The depth of her feelings touched his heart in a way that he had never thought possible.

She continued: "I'd rather die with you..."

"Ziva, you speak such nonsense sometimes. There is no need for both of us to die at the hands of your father." He thought carefully: "What would happen you and I left together? Would he still blow me up?"

"I believe so. He may well wait until we are separated, or until my mission is completed."

Neither of them had considered actually shooting Gibbs in an attempt to get themselves out of this situation. This wasn't an option for either of them. Gibbs would probably be touched to hear so, but they didn't even care if he did. The boss meant too much for either of them to do that.

"Ah, HA!", Tony's victorious cry resounded through the room. "I think I've got a plan". She lifted her head up, her nose colliding with his chin in the process.

"Listen Ziva. I'm going to call Gibbs. Tell him to give you 10 minutes head start and not to look for you. Then he will come and get me."

"But what about the bomb, Tony. My father will blow both of you up."

"Not if you disarm it first." She sighed

"You underestimate my father. He will probably blow us up anyway if he realises that we are playing with his detonator."

"Well, tell me what to do, then, and I'll do it _discretely_." He had added this last word with remnants of a twinkle in his eye, hoping that it would make her laugh, or at least react. But it didn't.

"Ok, Tony. Give me your phone."

"Why?"

"I need some light to see the detonator."

She lit up the screen, her beautiful face glowing in their dark surroundings. Tony couldn't help but admire her beautiful glistening eyes, her fine face and the sad expression that darkened it. Neither could he avoid the tear tracks that had appeared on her olive cheeks.

She tried to sit in front of him to hide his body from the camera, but she couldn't get close enough to his chest without touching his legs. He looked up to her.

"Tony, I can not... There is no way I can shield you from the camera."

His eyes glared at her as he answered forcefully. "Sit down Ziva, do not worry about me. Just do what you have to do.

She slowly sat on his lap, trying to stay away from his knees. She could hear him stifle screams and saw tears forming at the corner of his tight-shut eyes. His breath was shallow again. She leant against him as if to rest against him again, but her right hand carefully lifted his shirt, feeling for the detonator.

"Tony, bring your phone closer." She inspected the device carefully and slowly regained her place at his side. Her partner was panting, tears streaming from his eyes in agony.

"Listen, there are two wires linked to the detonator, which is a simple dead man's switch. You need to rip off the top wire, Tony." His face was obscured by her shadow. She wasn't sure he had even heard her. "Tony, have you understood what I have told you?"

His hand gripped hers in a jerk and squeezed it tight. She took this as a positive answer and kneeled up, stroking his forehead in an effort to appease him.

"Ziva... What... What will hap... happen if it doesn't work."

"We will both blow up, Tony."

"Well, whatever happens, Zi... Ziva, you are well worth it." She smiled, remembering the conversation they had had the last time they disarmed a bomb together.

His hand made its way towards his shirt, and she stood up, grabbing the phone in her hand and making her way towards the camera to shield him potential viewers. If she was wrong, if it didn't end well, she would die protecting him. She would die with him.

Tony felt the two wires in his hand. He grabbed the one closest to his face, held his breath, and in a sharp pull, ripped it off the explosive device.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to all for your support and reviews. Thanks to you Tony and Ziva get to live at least another day. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; neither do I wish to infringe any copyright law. **

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All was darkness and silence. DiNozzo's ears were buzzing, his blood pumping through his head. _That can only be a good sign, _he thought.

He exhaled, relaxing his muscles. The bomb hadn't exploded. He was still alive.

He saw his phone eerily approaching before guessing at the shape that held it. His chuckles were borderline hysterical, and she noticed it. He was obviously not doing as well as he let on.

"Ziva. It worked. You're a genius."

"There's no genius in it, Tony. It is merely basic electronics."

"Anyway, no let's work at getting you out." He took a deep breath and winced. "I'm gonna call Gibbs as agreed. I..."

"Tony", she interrupted, "I need to speak to Gibbs, I need to explain".

"I really don't think so, Ziva. I'll talk to him once we're both out. I'll explain."

She move back towards the other end of the room, taking the phone away from him.

"For pity's sake Ziva, gimme I phone back." A lot of anger transpired in his voice. In spite of his best efforts, he was slowly losing the battle over his injuries, finding an outlet for all the untold, hidden pain inside him.

Ziva threw the phone at him, forgetting that he was unable to catch it. The phone hit his thigh before ricocheting on the ground. The dropping sound was barely audible through Tony's shark cry. Ziva ran back over him.

"Tony, I'm sorry, I... I..."

"That's fine, Ziva. It's just not a good day to hone your baseball skills." He said jokingly between two shallow, dizzyingly ineffectual gasps as a sad smile crept upon his face.

Ziva already knew that Tony was all about appearances, never quite understanding why the perception others had of him was so important. As part of her training, she had learnt not to care about others' thoughts and impressions of her and had first been taken aback by the fact she cared about what _he_ thought about her. Their childish banter, incessant repartees and jokes were merely a smoke screen to avoid delving deeper into each other's personality. She knew they weren't fooling anybody – well, at least not Gibbs.

She knew he read through them like a book. She had been to many of his conference calls in the elevator cum conference room, and she knew he was always right. Ziva wondered sometimes whether he knew the extent of their respective feelings – well, hers at least, she couldn't speak for Tony...

Tony, the man who in face of adversity was trying is upmost to get her out alive and well. And who was now on the phone to Gibbs.

"Hi Boss, it's me, Tony."

_I can hear that, Tony. How are you?_

"I've seen better days, boss. Listen..."

_Tony, is Ziva with you?_

"Yes, boss, but..."

_Put her through, Tony._

"No!"

The agent so wish for Gibbs to shut up and listen. Blood was throbbing in his temples, and he was well aware that the surrounding darkness had been replaced by sparkling flashes of light. He just wanted Gibbs to talk to him, to reassure him... To care.

All the boss wanted was to talk to Ziva. He heard him sigh at the other end of the line.

"_Go on, Tony",_ he answered in a soft, cajoling but reluctant voice. He would have well preferred getting all the info from a lucid, uninjured and systematic agent, but Tony would do. He could sense the boy needed it.

"Boss. I... uhhh." His voice was clear yet weary. "You should be able to come in the building in 15 minutes. Make it 20. Just to be sure. I... guess you know where I am so I'll just wait for you."

"_DiNozzo, why can't we come now!"_ answered the stern man on the line.

"Ahh, boss, that's a long story. I'll explain it all when we're all out but... boss... BOSS?"

"_I'm listening, DiNozzo."_

"You must not try to find Ziva, boss. I'll explain but please do not try to follow her, trace her, find her or get somebody else to find her."

Ziva was sat on the ground, facing the camera, staring at it. At the mention of her name, she turned her head sideways to look at Tony. The light of the phone was bright enough to illuminate half of his face. His features were drawn and tired, his eyes blackened by the blows. Blood tainted the side of his mouth. The coarseness in his voice betrayed him: under the thick armour of his pride, there lied a scared man.

"Boss, you must promise me. No one must try to find Ziva. Is that clear?"

She was touched that he thought of her in those dark moments. Ziva knew that she wouldn't have tried to protect herself on the way out, and that this was the reason for DiNozzo's insistence on making the call. Her guilt intensified when his voice grew fiercer.

"I said, IS THAT CLEAR?"

He had just shouted at the boss. Ziva couldn't recall anybody ever shouting at Gibbs. Tony's tired hand dropped on his lap as his head lent backwards against the wall, his eyes closing with exhaustion and pain. He took a deep breath before grabbing the phone again.

"Sorry, boss," a tiny voice continued, half-broken by the lump in his throat. "Could you please promise me that you won't try and find her? I promise you she'll be safe boss."

"_Tony, I swear to God we won't come after her. OK?"_

"Thanks boss, see you in 20 minutes."

"_DiNozzo!"_

The agent had already hung up the phone.

Gibbs walked back towards the car where McGee was still seated.

"McGee, warn the paramedics they'll be needed soon. We're going in in 20 minutes."

"Boss, shall I send a team at the back?"

"No, we'll all go through the front door."

"But boss..."

"It's an order McGee."

The young agent walked towards the paramedics, muttering under his breath, just loud enough for Gibbs to hear: _I know, never disobey a direct order. It's not a bloody rule but it well ought to be._

_____________________________________________________________________________

His weak imploring voice had felt like a deep cut to Ziva's heart. She couldn't help the tears on her angelic face and failed to will them away. Still facing the camera, her legs crossed underneath her, she held her pose, mouthing lengthy sentences in Hebrew.

She knew her dad was still watching them. She knew he knew... Too much. She knew she would never be safe again, and that she would probably never see them again. The sole thought of being torn away from them, from _him, _was more than she could bear.

Her expression didn't display any anger. She was calm and composed; her trainers taught her well. She was trying to explain, in as many words as she dared, what all this meant to her. She knew that he wouldn't understand, but at least she tried.

On top of the torture of her imminent separation from her surrogate family, there was Tony. The man who had kept himself alive and as well as he could pretend to be to reassure her. The man who shouted at the boss and begged for her freedom. The man who abandoned all pride for her. She couldn't imagine her life without him.

Yes, they had been separated before, and after the team was disbanded, her heart cried with tears of blood at the thought she may never see him again. He had never called. She had never either. Both, in their own way, had felt guilty. And now it was just too late.

With her sleeve, she dried her silent tears and shed a last dark look at the camera before standing up. She walked back towards him.

"Tony, I must go now."

"Ziva, listen..."

"Thank you , Tony. For everything." That's all she could say before she felt the tears running up her lashes again.

"No, Ziva, I meant... In my pocket. He signalled for her to look at his right pocket."

She leant over him and drew the contents of his pocket out.

"What am I supposed to do with these, Tony." In her hand, a bunch of keys rattled.

"They're mine, Ziva. My apartment, my car, my log cabin in the Hamptons. Take them. You'll be safe there. Gibbs promised..."

"Thanks", she simply answered, lost for words to express her gratitude.

In the spur of the moment, she leant closer to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll miss you Tony."

"I'll miss you too, Sweet Cheeks"

She stood again and went to knock at the door. One of the guards opened to let her out. She talked to him in Hebrew for a minute, to let them know about the imminent attack, giving them the choice to escape. She knew that they wouldn't. But that was their choice.

Then she remembered. The flaw in his plan. The same as his undercover plan. She realised they would kill him before the others arrived. She wished she had seen that coming, that his state and sweet words hadn't clouded her judgement as they had done.

She gauged the guard in front of her. Like her, he had been trained. She wouldn't win that one. Not in her state of nerves. There must be a way, surely.

Through the tears, she smiled. She climbed on her toes to reach his ear and whispered a few words in his hear. He stepped back, aghast, and let her walk past.

One last time, she turned away, tears flowing silently onto her blouse.

"Take care, Tony."

"Take care, Ziva."

She crossed the threshold and left the room. The door was closed again, plunging him in darkness. Ziva was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hi all, **_

_**This chapter is a transition between what we've seen so far and what happens next. Not the most exciting, but needed to get on with the next chapter.**_

_**__________________________________________________________________________________**_

All of a sudden, the room felt cold, the cement floor harder than it had ever been. Everything was so still he could hear himself breathe, shiver and cry.

He knew that his senses were messing with his brain, but Ziva's departure felt like a stab in the heart, pressing on his chest like a clamp.

Soon they would come. Soon the door would open, and the light would shine in, blinding him. Soon he would be relieved from the pain that surrounded him.

Soon he would feel helpless, being carried away by others never to come back to the dark room of his nightmares. He would feel stupid, guilty and useless, at least for a while. He would hate having to tell the boss what happened and why he was so stupid as to get caught in the first place.

Soon things would get back to normal again. _And yet, nothing will be normal again_, Tony thought. Even imprisoned within these four pitch-black walls, Tony could make up all the details of her face when she turned and looked over her shoulder to say goodbye. She was gone, and his life would never be whole again.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Ziva needed to act promptly. The few magic words she had whispered in the agent's ear seemed to have done the trick, and she could see all of them retreating towards a back door which had been hidden from her until now.

She had three options: going through the front door, following the agents through the back door, or staying in.

Going through the front door clearly wasn't an option, and she was suspicious that Gibbs may have had the back door covered by a few agents. Actually, the few gun shots that just sparked at that point seemed to reinforce that view.

_Well, I'll stay in, then. _Ziva was relieved she was still wearing her NCIS jacket, nobody would question her presence there once they all came in. Whilst looking for a safe place to hide, her mind kept returning to the dark room, thinking about her partner.

Ziva couldn't forgive herself for putting him in that position in the first place, and knew that her selfish decision to come back would have major repercussions for the rest of the team. Looking forward, there was nothing for her. No hope of seeing them again, no hope of getting out of this unscathed. Her fingers tightened into a fist, and she realised that she was still clutching the keys Tony had given her.

Whilst she knew that his place wasn't the safest place she could find, it was certainly less obvious than her apartment. Her father had probably organised surveillance over there, and she doubted that he had seen her take the keys from her partner's pocket.

There wasn't that much stuff to hide behind in this almost empty space, so she opted for the electricity cupboard in the toilets next to the main entrance. The stench was horrendous, but she could easily sneak out without being seen and hide in the bushes that bordered the warehouses.

There she waited in silence, until the moment came for her to come out. Sat on the floor, leaning against the wall in the dark, she recalled being with Tony in a similar room a few minutes ago. It was too late, now. There would be no coming back.

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Gibbs was impatiently waiting outside. He had sent Delmonte's team near the back door, with the clear instruction to let Ziva go through if she ever showed up. He very much doubted she would, knowing his liaison officer would find a cunning way out without being noticed.

All the excitement and this long wait outside had got to McGee. The young agent was restless and anxious, hoping that the raid would lead them to Tony quickly, and that no further casualties would be incurred.

All of a sudden, gunshots were heard at the back of the time had come to go in. Gibbs nodded in the direction of McGee and Caroll's team and they silently took their position around the main entrance.

They all ran in at the same time, discovering an empty warehouse. Agents Montgomery and Luntley cleared the toilets and front office and all proceeded towards the back of the warehouse. Knowing nobody was left in the warehouse, Gibbs, sent Caroll's team to help Delmonte and ensure that no assailant would come back into the warehouse, and sent McGee to get the paramedics. He ran towards the far left corner of the room, where the last room in the building stood.

His hand reached for the handle. _What if they have killed him? It has been 20 minutes since we last heard of him. _He shook the thoughts off and turned the handle. To his amazement, the door wasn't actually locked.

There was no light in the room, so he lit up his torch before moving.

"Boss, there's no need to blind me as well."

A smile of relief crept on Gibbs' lips at the sound of his agent's voice. It was weak, but it was there.

"Glad to see you're holding on, Tony."

"Glad to see you arrive, boss, I was starting to get a bit lonely."

His senior agent didn't look good. To be honest, he looked crap. He was surrounded by his own blood, his body collapsed against the wall. His right arm and legs were lying at a strange angle, his face darkened by blows and exhaustion.

"Paramedics are on their way, son. Tell me what happened, Tony."

_He has called me son!_ DiNozzo noticed. Amongst all things, Gibbs' good opinion ranked very high, and he was pleased to see the old man cared for him a bit more than he let on.

Knowing he had an important message to pass on, Tony desperately tried to cling on to consciousness, but the single thought that Gibbs had come seemed to sweep away all his worries and pains. In a last ditch effort, he stared at the man's blue eyes.

"Not important. Listen, it's really... important... that..."

Gibbs cradled his agent's head with his hand, repressing from grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.

"Tony, what happened to Ziva. "

"Boss, she's... must not... kill..." Tony faded away before finally passing out.

Gibbs sighed and sat next to his agent, waiting for the paramedics to arrive.

__________________________________________________________________________________

"Agent McGee, where's the casualty?" one of the two paramedics enquired.

McGee was slightly startled by their presence since nobody had told them it was safe to come in."

"He's in the room over there", he pointed.

They ran over to the room, where they found Gibbs sitting next to his agent. "He's lost consciousness about 30 seconds ago. Two shots in the knees..."

"Yes, we know, Agent Todd has given us the full picture outside", said the second medic, unceremoniously shoving Gibbs out of the way.

For a second, Gibbs' eyes betrayed his surprise but he regained his composure quickly. McGee was still standing there with his mouth opened, utterly puzzled at the mention of Kate's name.

Before he could say anything, Gibbs, was running past him and towards the front of building. When McGee managed to catch up, he was simply standing there, looking around. He sighed.

"Do you believe in ghosts, McGee?"

"No, boss."

"Me neither."

Gibbs sighed once more, scanning the horizon through his piercing blue eyes. Ziva was here, somewhere, but with her skills, he had no chance of finding her. He turned around to get back to his senior agent, looking back over his shoulder in case he spotted something. McGee stood there for a moment, bewildered, before following him.

__________________________________________________________________________________

"Abs, it's Gibbs."

"Gibbs, how are Tony and Ziva. Have you found them?"

"I've found Tony, Abs."

His voice was dark and for a second, she feared for the worse.

"Gibbs, tell me he's not dead."

"He's not dead Abs, but he's not very well. I'm gonna ask the medics to send him to Bethesday. Tell Ducky to drive you there, I will see you in half an hour."

"But, what about Ziva."

"I don't know Abs."

"What do you mean you don't know."

"I don't know. But Tony does. So we'll have to wait for him."

An anxious Abby prompted him again. "But do you think that she's injured, that she's been kidnapped?"

"I don't know where she is, but I'm sure she's ok." He sighed, dissatisfied with his own answer. "Don't worry, I'll make sense of it."

He hung up, before climbing in the bus with his agent, throwing the car keys to McGee. The young agent ran back to the car, throwing the coffee cup that littered the car on the back seat and turned the ignition on.

________________________________________________________________________________

Ziva noticed all agents had gone past the toilet door. She had startled when she heard the familiar voice of agent Luntley bursting the door open and shouting _"Clear"_ without even casting an eye on the electricity cupboard but immediately got up to look past the door.

They were all gone towards the other side of the warehouse and nobody would turn back at this point. She decided it was now or never.

Ziva came out into the light and started running towards the bushes when she realised that two paramedics were actually watching her from their bus. She instinctively continued running but moved towards them.

" Hi, I'm agent Todd, she said confidently. It's safe out there, now. You're needed at the other end of the warehouse. Two shots in the knees, one dislocated shoulder, broken jaw and nose. Substantial loss of blood. The agent was conscious a minute ago."

They gathered their kit as she was listing the injuries, and she proceeded towards Gibbs' car. She grabbed his coffee cup, now empty and a pen that was lying around and scribbled a few words on the cup before leaving it prominently on the driver's seat.

All of a sudden, she heard footsteps coming towards them. She moved silently behind the bus, sheltering in the bushes behind it. That way, she would have a perfect view when all the agents would come back.

From the bushes, she could also see Gibbs standing with McGee, about 50 meters in front of the vehicles. Gibbs was scanning the horizon. _He knows I'm here._ He quickly returned inside only to come back out a few minutes later, accompanied by the medics. He heart sank. Tony was on a stretcher, his left arm limply falling by the side.

"He's not doing very well, agent Gibbs", one of them said. "He's lost a lot of blood. We've put him on 100% oxygen and given him some morphine, so he should be comfortable. How long has he been in there with those injuries?"

"Not sure, probably 5-6 hours"

The other medic sighed and shook his head in disarray, much to Gibbs' displeasure.

As they arrived to the bus, Gibbs jumped on board and threw the keys to McGee. _Damn it_. She saw Mc Gee running to the car and throwing her message away on the back seat. _Damn it_. _Damn it_. _Damn it_. Now she'd have to resurface to let him know.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hi guys, I'm sorry it took me so long to update. This week was pretty manic and next week. Well, let's not think about it yet.**_

_**I've made this one a fair bit longer than usual chapters to make up for it. Hope you like it.**_

_**_______________________________________________________________________________**_

She saw them leaving. The ambulance blaring past her, unnoticed. She saw McGee driving away faster than he would usually do, following to the hospital. She saw the other agents coming back with their captors. All went, one after the other. Until there was no one left. Nothing left but a soul hanging by a thread in a thorny bush.

Ziva looked at Tony's phone, still clutched in her hand. She could call a taxi, but risk being located by her father. She turned the phone off, dunked it in her pocket and emerged from the shrub. She was only a few kilometres out of town. Still hidden among the trees, she looked around, and assessed that she was out of range from cameras.

She shed her jacket, and kindly hung it from a nearby tree, almost like a shrine. Her thoughts went briefly to Tony. She lifted the chain around her neck and kissed her Star of David, reciting a little prayer for him before setting off.

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"Tony... Tony!"

His own name resounded in his head. All the pain ignored over the last hours came rushing back through. His mind felt numb, sleepy. In spite of the temptation, he opened his eyes. Bright shapes floated above him, and a familiar face was looking at him.

"Tony. Hang in there, son."

His breath was shallow and laboured again. Gibbs remembered vividly the last time this had happened, and the warning he had issued.

"Tony, you're not going to die."

The agent's piercing hazel eyes were pleading. Under his oxygen mask, he murmured something incoherent. Gibbs took the mask off for a second. Tony gulped with difficulty.

"Ziva..."

"Tony, we haven't found her. Where is she? DiNozzo, where is she?"

In spite of himself, Gibbs has started shaking his agent's shoulders, and the paramedic interposed himself, placing the mask back on his patient's face.

Tony's eyes were raving, desperately trying to pass on a message he had no strength left to deliver. His hand started shaking, unsuccessfully trying to grab Gibbs' arm. He lifted his head and banged it repeatedly against the hard board, until the medic freed him once again from the oxygen mask.

"Must... Not... Find... Her..."

"Tony, why?"

"Contract. Kill."

"Who?"

Tony's eyes stared at him, through him. His head became still. The medic took this opportunity to put the mask back on as his patient's saturation seemed to be deteriorating rather quickly.

"ME?" he shouted incredulously.

His agent nodded before closing his eyes again.

Gibbs had lots of questions for him. Unfortunately, there was nobody to answer. He dialled Tony's number on his phone, remembering that Ziva still had it, but it went straight to voicemail.

________________________________________________________________________________

The gurney was rushed through the double doors.

_Male, mid thirties, shot in the knees, dislocated shoulder, contusions to the face, broken nose and jaw potential broken wrists. We haven't been able to assess internal injuries. Saturation 90% on 100% oxygen. We've administered morphine at the scene. Patient is semi-conscious._

Gibbs was running behind them when he noticed a familiar face.

"Dr Pitt."

"Agent Gibbs, nice to see you again. What do you... Oh. " He looked at DiNozzo. "Why is it always the same one."

"You tell me."

A swarm of nurses came from all around them, surrounding the gurney and Tony was wheeled into one of the trauma rooms. Gibbs saw the door closing in front of him. All he could do was watch helplessly from afar.

_________________________________________________________________________________

A hand landed on his shoulder.

"Boss, I think you should come and take a seat."

The young agent's voice left no impression on him. He stood there, immobile, staring through the window as the medical team performed a sort of macabre dance around his agent. Tubes, monitors, beeping sounds and instructions were filling the room. Yet he felt strangely empty. Stunned.

Thoughts were colliding in his head, and he couldn't quite piece them together. Ziva had been with him, but was after him? That didn't make any sense. He couldn't detach his eyes from his agent's body. Nurses whizzed past him, bringing in more blood. Another voice called behind him.

"Jethro, I think Tim is right. You should come and sit down with us. I have brought Abby with me and I am sure her state of nerves would be greatly improved by your presence at her side."

McGee somewhat forcefully took hold of his boss's arm only to be just as forcefully pushed away. Gibbs' face hadn't moved, his features unaltered, his eyes still set on his agent.

A soft hand slowly slipped in his.

"Come on, let's go sit down." For once, Abby was calm and composed. She led him slowly to a plastic chair in the waiting room and sat next to him, wrapping her arm behind him. Her touch on his back seemed to wake him up from his daze. He put his arm around her and pulled her against his shoulder.

_________________________________________________________________________________

She had walked for a couple of hours before reaching the city. Although it wasn't cold outside, she was only wearing a light jumper, and the clouds were withholding the heat she would otherwise have got from the sun.

She stopped in a small shop not far from her own flat and bought a nice coat. Grey, waisted, with a double row of buttons at the front and a nice wide belt closing across her thin waist. It was practical but looked nice. _Tony would have liked it, _she thought. She shook the thought off and continued walking. Tony's absence, even short, was tearing her apart, and not knowing how he fared was more than she could bear.

At last she reached his block of flat. She stood in front of the building, immobile. She realised that she didn't know the code to the front door. Although Tony had often come to her place to watch films and chat, she had never set foot into his apartment. It felt like intruding on his private life.

She looked up to what the windows. Ziva couldn't quite resolve herself to go in. It felt like caving in. Accepting help had never been her thing, especially when she could figure out other options. Not that she had, yet. But she could.

A sense of curiosity overtook her. She wanted to know where Tony lived, what his room smelt like, whether he had a secret drawer full of dirty magazines and whether any new films had made their way to his already extensive film collection.

A voice woke her up from her dreamy thoughts.

"May I help you, Ma'am, you look lost."

"No, thanks."

The man went past her, up the stairs and opened the door. He was middle-aged, bolding and slightly podgy, but looked friendly enough to enquire.

"My friend Tony has had an accident and asked me to pick up some of his clothes" she lied. "I think he live in this block but I'm not sure. Do you know him?"

The man looked back over his shoulder and turned back towards her.

"Tony, as in Tony DiNozzo?"

"Yes, Tony DiNozzo."

"He lives just above me, I'll show you."

_________________________________________________________________________________

They had been here for hours. All of a sudden, Dr Pitt appeared and walked towards them.

"Agent Gibbs".

At the call of his name, he stood up.

"How is he, doc ?"

"Well, your agent keeps beating records. It's a miracle he stayed conscious that long given the amount of blood he had lost. He's got quite a few broken bones, but I'm very concerned about his legs. I'm... Well, let's say I'm not overly optimistic about his chances of walking again anytime soon, if ever. But then your agent has already proved me wrong twice to date."

"Make sure he keeps his legs, Doc."

"We'll do our best agent Gibbs. Now, if you don't mind, we're going to take him for surgery. There's a lot to do on the poor man. I think we'll be there well into the night, and I won't be able to let you see him until tomorrow afternoon, as visiting hours are limited in the ICU. I will call you as soon as he's out to give you an update on his condition."

"I'll be staying here."

"No you won't, I can't permit you to stay here..." Gibbs' glare was getting icy, he could have punched the man. "And I don't care how much you threaten me, Agent Gibbs. The rules are there for a reason. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to my patients. I trust you'll find the exit."

Defeated, Gibbs looked back behind the glass doors, hoping to get a glimpse of his agent, before being towed towards the exit by the friendly hand still holding his.

________________________________________________________________________________

Roger – for that was his name – was actually a nice man. He had lived in the block for three years and only had nice things to say about Tony. He showed her up to the second floor and pointed at the first door on the left hand side of the landing.

"There you are. Feel free to knock at my door if you need anything."

She nodded silently, waiting for him to go before she opened the door. Entering Tony's flat felt like trespassing on forbidden territory. For a second, she likened herself to an explorer opening a brand new Egyptian tomb.

Scanning the room quickly, she smiled at the comparison : Tony's furniture looked nothing like an Egyptian temple. The apartment was surprisingly clean. The brown sofa felt welcoming enough and she sat on it. The TV was facing her, surrounded by three tall basic wooden shelves, all loaded with films. To her amazement, they were organised alphabetically by decade.

Thoughts were tumbling in her head, wondering how Tony was, whether he was still alive, whether Gibbs knew, whether she had been followed. _How on Earth am I going to get out of that mess?_

For a minute, she drowned in her own guilt, realising how much her selfish desire to come back to her team, to Tony, had put them all in danger. She needed to work out a plan, to do something rational.

She got up and looked at Tony's CD collection. She noticed a familiar name on one of them. A small British town she had visited once. She put the CD in the player whilst going back to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water.

The music was filling her with despair, describing with innate accuracy the feelings she was trying to hide from herself. All the tensions of the day were cascading over her, leaving her more desperate than she had ever been. She leant against the grey worktop, slowly bringing the glass of water to her lips.

_Oh, can't anybody see,  
We've got a war to fight,  
Never found our way,  
Regardless of what they say._

Her concern for Tony was engulfing her. Was he alright? She knew he had put on brave face for her, better than she could have, and that he wasn't as well as he had let her think. She would need to know, need to see him.

_How can it feel, this wrong,  
From this moment,  
How can it feel, this wrong._

She shut her eyes, Tony's broken body coming back her eyes. This was too hard. She was surrounded by Tony, his apartment of everything he was, everything he had ever been. She was overdosing on every single thing that belonged to him. Tears made their way to the corners of her eyes, sprinkling her lashes with dewy droplets. She felt them overflow and slowly drop on her olive cheeks, gathering again under her chin.

_Storm, In the morning light,  
I feel, No more can I say,  
Frozen to myself._

She put the glass down on the surface and decided to call the hospital. They had surely sent him to Bethesda. Using Tony's landline would probably be safer, for now anyway. Her father would certainly still be tracing his mobile.

"Hi... I'm... Kate DiNozzo", she lied, sobs breaking through her voice.

_"How can I help you?"_

"NCIS have called me to say that my husband was badly injured today."

She waited for a while for the nurse to find his file.

"_Mrs DiNozzo, your husband is still in intensive care. I understand he has just gone into surgery."_

"Could I come and see him?"

"_Well, you'll have to wait for visiting hours."_

"Please, I need to... see him, just... in case... something happens."

"_Listen, he should be out in about 3 hours if everything goes well. Why don't you prepare a bag for him and come then. Ask for Dr Pitt and I'll make sure they let you in for the night."_

"Thank you so much." For once, she was sincerely grateful and her voice bore no hint of cynism.

Her instincts kicked in at that point and she added: "Will any of his colleagues be around?"

"_No, Ma'am, I believe they have all been sent home. As I said, visiting hours... But as you are his closest relative..."_

She hung up the phone. The stabbing pain in her chest resurfaced. She looked around, aimlessly. Three hours to spare. Enough for her to go crazy. Enough to be traced. Enough for Tony to die.

_got nobody on my side,  
And surely that ain't right,  
Surely that ain't right._

Ziva knew that Gibbs would be resentful of her lies. He had trusted her with his life, and she had badly repaid him his confidence. She knew he would be hurt, probably as much by Tony's injuries than by her betrayal.

_Oh, can't anybody see,  
We've got a war to fight,  
Never found our way,  
Regardless of what they say._

She hoped one day he would forgive her, understand her motives... He, the man who knew how much love can hurt. He who told them never to get involved with their colleagues. Gibbs knew better than all of them. But he never told them how _not_ to fall in love.

Ziva had never even considered the fact that Tony may be in love with her. Unrequited love was the monster that was eating her alive. She could will with all her soul to send her feelings away, they would always come back to haunt them.

Yet, in spite of all her strength and skills, she had never felt strong enough to tell him how she felt. In spite of their connection, that invisible link that made them guess the other's thoughts before they express them, a barrier stood between them as far as feelings were concerned.

There were so many things she wished she had told him, and so many things she wished she knew about him.

Well, at least on that score she could do something.

_How can it feel, this wrong,  
From this moment,  
How can it feel, this wrong._

She stood up and walked to the bathroom, resolving to have a shower before preparing a bag for Tony.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Ducky had agreed to take Gibbs back home, so McGee drove Abby back to her apartment.

"Timmy, do you think Tony will make it?"

"Of course, he will. He's Tony." They both smiled weakly.

"Abs, you sure you don't want to come to my place. I... I'll sleep on the sofa. I just don't want you to be alone tonight."

"That very sweet McGee, but..."

"I'll lend you a tee-shirt. PLUS, "he smiled, "I still have your toothbrush."

"Yeek, that's digusting McGee. Do you know how many bacteria breed onto an unused, unwashed, unloved toothbrush? Millions and millions. Enough to give you all sorts of bugs and diseases..."

"Fine, we'll stop and buy you a new toothbrush."

It had started raining and the noise of the windscreen wipers over the windshield hypnotised them for a moment. The radio was playing some country music.

"Something's off, McGee. I can feel it. mean, it's not the first time that Tony's hurt in the field, it's not the first time he's caught or anything. I've just never seen Gibbs so... needy."

"I know what you mean, Abs. I... just don't know. I think something happened at the warehouse. We had to wait for hours until Tony gave us the all clear, and then Ziva disappeared, Gibbs said something about a ghost and jumped in the bus with Tony."

"Do you think Ziva's ok ?"

"I'm sure she is. We haven't found her at the scene, Abs, so I'm sure she's ok."

_________________________________________________________________________________


	13. Chapter 13

"Come on, Jethro. You should take a rest. Turning this boat into dust will not alleviate your sense of powerlessness, nor will the alcohol make things better for the poor boy."

"T'snot a sense of powerlessness" Gibss slurred.

"What is it then ?" The piercing blue eyes turned straight to him.

"It's a sense of failure, Duck".

"What do you mean, Jethro. You couldn't have known, you couldn't have done anything differently."

"I should have seen, I should have known, Duck. I should never have let Vance disband the team." He took another sip of bourbon from the dirty mug on his bench. "Since they've come back, they've all started... behaving differently."

"They've just grown up, Jethro."

"Yes, but not on my watch."

Dr Mallard scanned the room for a chair but did not find any. His old bones would have to cope with the comfort offered by the stairs. Gibbs had gone back to painstakingly sanding his boat. They both remained silent for a while.

"Jethro, what do you think happened out there? Who do you think was after Tony and why did Ziva disappear?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Duck."

Coming from Jethro, this was more than an admission. He _knew_ what had happened out there, but wouldn't share the information willingly. Ducky tried his luck.

"I will tell you what _I _think happened, Jethro. The men you arrested at the warehouse were all Mossad it seems, so I believe the incident is related to our friend Ziva. However, although we know Ziva spent some time with Tony during his captivity, she was nowhere to be seen. She must therefore have left before we arrived. Given that you had received explicit instructions from Tony _not _to enter until he informed you you could do so, I think it is likely that the time was needed for Ziva to escape. Which leaves us with the question: why did Ziva need to escape from us?"

Gibbs had had enough of the ramblings of the old man. The factuality of his meandering thoughts was more than irritating him. He threw the bit of sandpaper on the ground before muttering.

"Because she didn't want to kill me."

"What do you mean, she didn't want to kill you."

"Ziva was sent to _kill _me, Duck. For Ari."

"I see", calmly replied Ducky. "An eye for an eye..." He walked back towards his friend. "Tell me, Jethro. Are you angry at Ziva?"

"Nope."

"One would assume you would be, my friend. After all, she was one of your team, Jethro. You trusted her and she betrayed that trust." He knew he was playing with fire but pursued. "I think you would also be angry and DiNozzo for letting her get away and conforming to her plan."

"ENOUGH!"

Silence struck. Gibbs moved back to the bench, pouring himself another drink. He consciously turned his back on the ME, his eyes betraying more than he would allow his friend to see.

"Damn it, Ducky, I'm not angry with Ziva. She probably never had a choice. She was probably instructed to take on the contract when she was sent back to Israel. If only I hadn't let Vance tear my team away! And DiNozzo, well, I don't think I could wish for a better agent, but let's face it, Duck: he'd do anything for Ziva. I know you all think I'm blind to these things, but I'm not as stupid as one thinks."

"I do not think any of us would describe you as "stupid", Jethro, neither would any of us think that you were blind. Certainly I would think that on more than one occasion, Tony wished he..."

Gibbs interrupted. "My point is, none of this would have happened if _I_ had done my job, Ducky. If _I_ hadn't burdened my team with rules. If _I _had stood for them when they needed me. They've never doubted me, Duck, not even Ziva. And I've still let them down."

"I think you may be too hard on yourself. But more importantly, you should realise that they still need you _now_. You need to work out how you are going to help them now, Jethro."

"You're right, Ducky, as always. Now if you don't mind, I have something to do."

"Oh, Jethro, I think it can..." He heard the door slam upstairs. "...wait till tomorrow."

_________________________________________________________________________________

"Ho, Hut, Weally, McHee, hoo you hink Hony will he okhey?", Abby asked, brushing her teeth vehemently with the new toothbrush.

"What?"

She shrugged, spat into the basin and repeated.

"Do you think Tony will be ok?" She was cute, with the little moustache of toothpaste around her mouth.

She was looking at him in the mirror. Her eyes were begging for reassurance. Tim frowned and briefly closed his eyes, wishing he had come up with a better answer.

Abby's eyes were welling up. She picked up the towel he had placed on the edge of the bath for her and wiped her mouth clean.

Tim slowly walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her, nesting his chin on her shoulder, looking back at her in the mirror.

"Abs, he'll be ok. It's Tony. He's always ok. Plus, if he can get over the plague, he can surely get over his injuries."

She could hear doubt in his voice.

"How bad was he, Timmy."

He sighed. "Not great, Abs. But... He was conscious. Speaking to Gibbs. That's surely a good sign."

She turned over in his arms, her eyes locking with his, her face mere inches from him.

"I'm tired of this McGee. Tired of waiting in the lab, praying that you all come in one piece. Today, it was Tony. What if it was Gibbs tomorrow."

Her words hit him at full force. His shoulders moved back, his eyes plunging further into her gaze.

"Seriously, Timmy. What if, tomorrow, it was you. I can't... I can't do this anymore. Just getting calls give me the creeps. Nobody calls me when things are fine, Timmy, so every call is..."

She buried her head in his shoulder. His hand grabbed the back of her head as he whispered in her ear.

"I won't do that to you, Abs. I won't go anywhere."

He took her to his bed and sat her down. He slowly undid her pony tail and brushed her hear to tame it. Abby was silent unresponsive. He opened a draw in his wardrobe and pull out his superman pyjamas. He gently undressed her, and put the outfit on her. He opened the bed and laid her down before tucking her in. He walked back to the living room and plumped up his pillows. He lied down on the uncomfortable leather sofa and closed his eyes.

He reopened them, unaware he had even been sleeping. He looked up at the clock on the wall, dimly lit by the streetlamp outside his block. 2.30am.

Noise was coming from the bedroom. Clad in his boxer short, socks and a vest, he walked over to his bed.

There she was, lying in his own bed, crying her heart out. McGee sat next to her, stroking her face.

"Ssshhh... It's ok, Abs. I'm sure he'll be fine." I knew she was worried about Tony.

"I can't. I'm just... too scare... What if..."

Tim had never realised how much their work affected Abby. For them, risks were part of the job. For her, it was a call that never ended well. He bitterly remembered how he had felt when Abby's live had been in danger. Chip, the car... It had just been too much to bear for him too.

He got up and went to the bathroom.

"Timmy." She called him back.

He walked back with a glass of water and a box of tissues.

"There you go, Abs."

"Timmy, will you stay with me."

He smiled and kissed her forehead, drying her tears with a tissue. He then got up and walked around the bed. He crept under the cold sheets, snuggling his body against hers. Her skin was warm. He felt her body relax in his arms.

"Always, Abs."

__________________________________________________________________________________

The shower had been a bad idea. Everything smelt of Tony in there. The shampoo, the shower gel. She felt like she was morphing into him. She got out, grabbing a towel - his towel – and grimaced at the thought of using it. She looked around. There was no cupboard around. _Well, beggars can't be choosers_, she thought.

Her clothes were on the floor, covered in dirt, blood and sweat. She wrapped herself in his towel and walked towards his bedroom.

Everything felt weird. Every step was a struggle not to run away. Everything was strange and yet too familiar. Everything around her was new, and yet it wasn't. It was Tony – mysterious and yet so familiar.

She pondered for a minute, her hand on the doorknob of what could only be his bedroom. Going into Tony's bedroom felt like eating the forbidden fruit. Tempting yet dangerous... and irreversible.

She sighed a walked back to the living room. She couldn't. For now. The rows of tapes and DVDs, the TV, prominent in the middle of the room, the big, comfortable sofa: all those felt familiar. Nothing in the room was so personal that she couldn't She sat down and immediately stood up again.

"Come on, Ziva, you're a proper trained agent. You can nonchalantly go into any room you want!" she repeated to herself as a mantra.

Her hand met the doorknob again. She turned it and opened the door, standing on the threshold.

Ziva didn't know what she had expected. Some bachelor's love pad, with dirty clothes strewn around the floor. She smirked to herself.

The room was tidy AND clean. The walls were a sort of duck egg colour, with a darkish wood bed and cream sheets, a matching chest of drawers and a built-in wardrobe with mirror doors. A couple of frames on the wall, a trophy on the chest of drawers and...

Pictures. Everywhere. On every surface and wall. She couldn't believe she hadn't noticed them as soon as she stepped in. Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Ducky and a woman she could only guess was Kate... and too many pictures of Ziva. A shrine to his friends. To his family.

"Oh, Tony..." she whispered, with tears in her eyes. She sat down on the bed, picking up the picture standing proud on his bedside table. It was one of the pictures from LA. It was a close-up of her face, smiling back at the camera.

_Those were happy days..._

With the back of her hand, she wiped the tears that were pouring from her eyes. Now was not the time for crying.

Ziva stood up and looked into the wardrobe for something she could wear. She grabbed a pair of sweat pants and his Ohio State Shirt. She grabbed a bag at the bottom of the cupboard and starting filling it with what she thought would be most useful to Tony: a couple of tracksuits, a pair of slippers, a few pyjamas. In the chests of draws, she found some underpants and socks. On his shelf, she found a few books. Those she liked went in the bag too, as well as a nice framed picture of the team he had taken when they all came back after Vance split them up.

She zipped the bag up, grabbed her coat, and made her way to the door. She looked over her shoulder one more time, looking at all those things she was leaving behind.

__________________________________________________________________________________

She arrived at the hospital only 20 minutes later, having hailed a taxi three blocks away from Tony's apartment, just in case.

It was nearly 1am, and the hospital was relatively quiet. She walked to the reception desk and asked for Dr Pitt, who arrived promptly.

"Mrs DiNozzo."

"Kate."

"Right, Kate, your husband is out of surgery. Everything went well, although we have had to replace both of his knees. It will take a few weeks, but he'll be as good as new soon."

She let out a sigh of relief. "May I see him?" Her voice quavered.

"I'll take you to his room. Nurse Roberts said that you wanted to stay with him, she'll get you a blanket if you like."

She nodded, unable to articulate the mixed feeling of relief and despair that constricted her chest. Tony would get better, but she would not be there to see it.

Dr Pitt led her to one of the ICU bays. They had brought in an armchair for her, and a nurse handed her a blanket and a pillow.

Tony looked dreadful. His face was battered, his eyes blackened and sunk into their orbits, his face bruised and grazed beyond recognition. His right shoulder was strapped against his chest.

And yet he seemed to sleep peacefully. She pulled the armchair towards him, close enough that she could hold his hand. Out of the bag, she took a pen and a notebook. Holding Tony's hand in hers, she started writing frantically.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Three hours. That was all she had spent at his side. And yet she knew she had outstayed her welcome. Soon they would figure out where she was, trace her and follow her. Catch her. Never to be seen or heard of again. She knew her father wouldn't forgive her for what she had done. Or what she hadn't.

She had hoped he would wake up. Now she was glad he hadn't.

She put the two letters on the table next to the bed. They would find them early enough. She reached behind her neck and removed her Star of David. She slowly opened Tony's hand, dropped the chain in his palm and closed his fingers over it. She then leant over him, gently kissing his forehead, tears streaming from her face. Her hand ran through his hair as she whispered "Goodbye, Tony".

She walked away, never once looking over her shoulder. Out of the room, out of the hospital. She disappeared into the darkness.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Thanks for all the reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. Your ideas are also very welcome and I've changed my plans a bit to include a bit more McAbby for those who liked it  
This week has been pretty tough and I haven't had much sleep, so apologies if this chapter and the following aren't as good as a result.**_

Somebody was banging on the door. Violently. In their bedrooms, the girls started crying. His wife turned to him, alarmed. He sighed and got up.

"Leon." The door creaked on its hinges. "Leon."

Director Vance put on a fetching wine coloured night gown over his grey flannel pyjamas. He tiptoed downstairs and opened the door.

"What can I do for you, Agent Gibbs." He said politely.

"What was the deal, Leon? What did you bargain for her return? Did _you_ want me dead as well?"

Vance's face kept its composure, although Gibbs noticed the blood draining from the director's face.

"What are you talking about, Gibbs?"

"Ziva. What was her deal? There was no way they would have sent her back to NCIS without any good reason. "

"Well, I'm a good friend of Eli, and..."

"You may want to chose your friends a bit more carefully, Leon."

"What the hell _happened_?"

"You tell me! I've got an agent in a critical condition in hospital, an officer AWOL whose fleeing certain death to try and protect my ass and avoid killing me. So, _you_ tell me what going's on."

The Director sighed and opened the door a bit further to let Gibbs in.

"What happened?" he repeated calmly, showing the agent into his living room.

This was going to be along night.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The alarm rang. _5 a.m._

Mc Gee threw his arm over the side to turn it off, his eyes still shut. For a minute, he forgot what had happened. 5 a.m. was the usual call for his alarm clock, and today was no difference.

Every morning, he would jump into his trainers and go training. Not that anyone noticed the difference, but one could always dream.

Something squirmed next to him. And he remembered. _Abby._ He opened his eyes.

She was really the cutest thing he had ever beheld. Even asleep in his Superman pyjamas, her dark hair scattered over the pillow, her make up darkening her features, she was still maddeningly beautiful.

He moved closer to her until her back was against his chest and his arm set around her waist.

"Abs?" He kissed the back of her head. She mumbled. Today, he'd give exercise a miss.

_____________________________________________________________________________

The streets of Washington were clear and bright this morning. The sun was almost on the horizon and soon the bustling city would awake. In a couple of hours, shops would open, offices would come to life. In two hours, Ziva would officially disappear. She smirked.

She finished her coffee and left the diner in which she had found refuge for the rest of the night.

_______________________________________________________________________________

The NCIS office was relatively quiet at this time of day. Under Gibb's watchful eye, agents on the day shift were arriving one by one, filling in the little cubicles in which their desks awaited. His arms leaning against the banister, he watched thoughtfully as the office awakened and anonymous agents started working on their cases. His eyes fell on the empty desks in front of him. His team's.

Director Vance had been in MTAC for over two hours and Gibbs doubted much progress had been made. The new director sure wasn't as good as Jenny, but then he had always been partial to her charms. Vance was cunning, but agents under his control weren't his priority. There was always a hidden agenda, an untold story, which had already destroyed his team once. This wouldn't be happening again.

Inside MTAC, the atmosphere was tense too.

"Eli. I am very disappointed. I thought our friendship was worth more than this. If you really wanted to kill agent Gibbs as he pretends, you just needed to ask. I know full well I owe you for your support in getting me promoted to director."

"Ah, Leon, you've always wanted to be at the heart of all action. I too am disappointed. In my daughter. She failed her mission. She failed to conform to her orders, to keep her mission secret and to return to me. I'm afraid her secondment at NCIS has done nothing to improve her skills. You need to take better care of your men, to train them better, Director Vance."

"I will not let you..."

At this moment in time, Gibbs irrupted in the room.

"Agent Gibbs", Vance shouted, "I have told you to stay out."

"See, Leon, that's what I meant: weaklings with independent spirits. Your agency is doomed, Leon."

"Director David", Gibbs saluted to the screen.

"Good morning, Agent Gibbs."

Gibbs pointed accusatorily at the screen. "You had no right to do this to your daughter."

"I beg to disagree, Agent Gibbs. My daughter is a Mossad agent and was instructed to take on a mission. This has nothing to do with NCIS."

"Oh, yes it does. You and I know full well that this was all about Ari Aswari's death."

Vance's eyes ran from the screen to his agent. Who the hell was Ari Aswari?

"I do not wish to talk about my son's death, Agent Gibbs."

"Well, I do. I know that you think _I _was responsible for the death of your son."

Vance was perplexed. He realised quickly that his coming to power within NCIS had only been part of a bigger plan in which he didn't play a part. He and his agency had been used as pawns for the Director of Mossad to carry out his revenge.

"Are you insinuating that you did not kill my son, Agent Gibbs."

"No". His blue eyes threw daggers at the screens. "I'm telling you."

"Would you care to tell me who did?"

"Of course. Ziva did."

Director David momentarily lost his composure and let out what could only be a swear word.

"You're lying, Agent Gibbs. Trying to blame my daughter for your own inadequacies."

"Not at all Director, I've only got her to thank for being alive." He turned towards Vance. "All I want now, is for you to confirm that neither I nor the rest of my team will be threatened by your activities or those of your agency, Director David, and that your daughter will not be chased, hurt or killed for failing to achieve her mission."

"Your team is safe, Agent Gibbs, but my daughter secondment is terminated with immediate effect. Director Vance, I order you to send her back to Israel."

Gibbs smirked. "Good luck, Leon."


	15. Chapter 15

_**Thanks for the reviews and the spelling tips. DiNozzo, Bethesda and Haswari are now officially in my spellchecker, so they should be mistaken again!**_

_**I wrote half of this chapter at the week-end and was hoping to get it to you yesterday, but my niece died this week and I couldn't bring myself to write any more. So this one is dedicated to a little angel, with love from her auntie.**_

Abby woke up. McGee's arms were pulling her tight against his body and she marvelled at the sense of peace she felt in his arms.

Last night was a big daze, and she wasn't entirely sure what had happened. She remembered crying a lot, and McGee being calm and sweet, protective of her. She remembered him kissing her in the lab and smiled to herself.

She turned over to face him. He looked so cute when he was sleeping. She reached for his lips and kissed him briefly. "Thanks for last night, Timmy."

"You're welcome." He opened his eyes and stared at her. Her face was mere inches from his, their noses almost touching.

McGee felt his heart pounding inside his chest. All he wanted in these troubled times was to have her by his side, just as she did at that moment. Her eyes looked straight at his face and he felt open to scrutiny. He swallowed uncomfortably closing his eyes and frowning in search for an answer.

"Abs..."

Her finger interrupted him before he had to say anything. Their eyes locked again. Hers were smiling benevolently at him, his questioning her intentions. Her finger slid down from his lips to his chin, only to be replaced by her own lips.

McGee grinned before shifting her over him. For the first time, he'd be late this morning, and it would all be worth it.

________________________________________________________________________________

Gibbs had left the Directors to talk together, or rather shout at each other. From now on, his team would be safe, except for Ziva.

In spite of her father's half-promise to "leave her alone", Gibbs wasn't convinced she would be safe if caught by her father's minions. He returned to his favourite vantage point at the top of the stairs, looking down on the teams downstairs who now beavered away in the orange office. His team was still absent, and he noticed that McGee hadn't turned up yet. For once, he would let that go. Last night had been tough on all of them, and he recall painfully how his youngest agent had actually tried to hold the ship together.

Out of curiosity, he strolled downstairs towards Ziva's desk. As usual it was tidy, all the pencils carefully sharpened and standing tips up in the cotton wool vase that Abby had got her for Christmas.

He opened her file drawer. In between the files and outstanding reports, he found a few pictures, some old, and some more recent. He sighed deeply. Where could she be now? How was she going to survive?

Ziva's status in the US was reliant on her position with NCIS, and had by virtue of her father saying so, been rescinded with immediate effect. She now was an outcast, illegally residing in the US, if she was still here.

He had no doubt that his liaison officer would survive wherever she went, but how long could she keep running away, escaping her father's wrath. He clutched the pictures, shoving them in his pocket and mumbling to himself _"we'll get you back, Ziva. We'll get you back."_

_________________________________________________________________________________

In the daylight, Bethesda was more welcoming than it had appeared the previous night. Gibbs stepped in and asked for his agent's room at the reception desk. A nurse came to meet him a moment later.

"You're looking for Agent DiNozzo? He's still in ICU but he should wake up soon. His operation went well last night. I'm afraid they've had to replace both his knees but he should otherwise be fine. His wife spent most of the night with him."

"His wife?"

"Kate DiNozzo."

He smirked, glad that Ziva had had time to ascertain Tony was fine.

A nurse came to meet him and led him to Tony's ward. He took the pillow and the blanket and placed them on the bed before sitting down next to his agent.

On the table next to him, stood a picture of the team. He grabbed it to examine it closer. A smile crept onto his lips. He remembered clearly when that picture had been taken. These were better times, happier times.

He put the frame down, noticing the two sheets of paper neatly folded on the table. One bore his name, the other that of his agent.

He reached for the letter that was meant for him and delicately unfolded it. Ziva's tidy handwriting spread across the page. No mistake, no word crossed out, no hesitation. Clinical, cold. The epitome of Ziva David.

He sat back into the confort of the armchair, drawing his glasses out of his pocket.

"Oh, Ziva", he sighed and started reading.

__________________________________________________________________________________

_Gibbs,_

_I am sorry. I know you would never allow me to say this. After all, it is and has always been a sign of weakness. Well, I shall say it again, in the hope that you will believe me. I am sorry._

_I hope that you will have read that far, that you will give me a chance to explain. I cannot help thinking that you probably hate me by now, or that you have lost all the respect I know you once had for me. I cannot blame you for this. After all, I was meant to kill you, although I actually tried my best not to._

_I would not want you to think that I actually wanted to hurt you or anybody. I wanted so much to come back to you, to the team. To feel part of a family again. You are all the family I have always wanted. And I have betrayed you. For this I will never forgive myself. _

_Coming back to you was a mistake. I should have known that going back was a mistake. I should have known that feelings should not interfere. _

_I have always respected your rules, Gibbs, even those I wish you had not put in my way. And yet today I have blown more than I wish to count (although I have not tempered with your coffee).I have lied to you, to Tony and McGee, and put you all in danger because of my selfishness. _

_My father always thought that you were responsible for Ari's death, and, for my sins, I was unwilling to dispel that myth. Lying is a bad habit of mine, but a useful one at times. _

_When the team was disbanded, my father called me back to him. He is very different from the man I once called father. In hindsight, he is probably colder and more calculating than I was when I joined NCIS. My father despises what I have become – an American girl, who likes to laugh and live and treasures her friendships above all. A woman who would not hesitate one second to sacrifice herself to protect those she loves. _

_Right now, I honestly wish I had died in Morocco, and none of this would have ensued. My father would never had blackmailed me into coming back to kill you. If you really need to know, I did not have a choice. I could either come back to you all or go on an undercover mission in Syria in which I would most likely be killed. _

_I do not regret coming back. It gave me a few more months to live, surrounded by those I cherish most. I have lived a full live, Gibbs. Like yours, it had a few bad patches, and some very dark times, but these last few years have more than made up for it._

_As I must now disappear in the vain hope to escape my father's wrath, I must tell you this. You are the person I trust most in the whole world and I know you will always have their backs. Please take care of them._

_You and I have never been very good at sharing our feelings, and I sometimes wish I had. I know you know. So please take care of him. He is a good man, desperate to please you and to hear you are proud of him. One day, when you feel like it, maybe you ought to tell him. _

_Please tell Ducky, Tim and Abby that I will miss them. I truly will. I will miss NCIS. I will miss you. _

_I hope one day you will forgive me._

_Farewell. Take care. _

_Ziva_

Gibbs dropped the letter and started rubbing his eyes with his hands, nodding his head in consternation. He wished he could somehow reassure her that she still had his trust and respect. He wished she hadn't mentioned DiNozzo.

The agent was still asleep, his face swollen beyond recognition. Gibbs swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. He took DiNozzo's hand, murmuring to himself, "Tony, how are we going to get back?"

To his amazement, Tony's raspy voice answered "She's gone, boss." Tears fell down his cheeks , which Gibbs dried up as gently as he could.

"We'll get her back, Tony. I promise you."

_________________________________________________________________________________


	16. Chapter 16

Instants passed that felt like hours.

"How you feeling DiNozzo?"

"Fine, boss, never better." A dazzling smile appeared on his mouth. Gibbs wasn't fooled. The smile was as fake as Tony's pretence that everything was fine. This thought was confirmed when the young man tried to lift himself off the bed.

"It's not that I don't appreciate you being here, boss, but I've got things to do, you know..." He hoisted himself put with his left arm before falling back limply onto the bed, unable to support his own weight.

Gibbs' hand pushed gently on his shoulder iterating him to lie back. "Not now, Tony."

"But I need to find... I need to make sure..." He felt that he had forgotten something but he couldn't quite fathom what it was. It stuck him in a flash.

"Boss, I was meant to tell you... Ziva..."

"I know, Tony."

"No, you don't understand. She's been trying to..."

"Kill me, I know."

Tony winced. It sounded worse coming from Gibbs' mouth than he ever thought it would. He sighed.

"She really didn't mean to."

"I know."

"I'm really worried for her."

"I know."

"She's broken and alone out there, boss. We do need to find her, to make sure she's ok. We need to find a way to get her back home. Here. With... us." He had meant to say _with me_ but changed his mind. Time would come for him to grieve her absence, but denial would do for now.

"I know."

"You sure seem to know an awful lot, boss."

Gibbs picked up the letter that still sat on his lap and held it out to Tony.

"Wanna read?"

"No."

Curiosity was killing him, but he didn't know what Ziva wanted to tell Gibbs. He knew there had always been a special bond between them. From the start, since Ari. She was the one who could break him out of his spell when he had lost his memory. DiNozzo had always known that she was a bit of a favourite for Gibbs, and had even surmised at times that his boss might well have had a crush on his liaison officer.

Not that Tony would mind. As long as she didn't return the attention. He closed his eyes, hoping to find some peace in the darkness.

Confused, blurry memories of her eyes, looking at him in the darkness, of her body against his, of her delicate smell, of her breath against his skin engulfed him like a nightmare. This time the nightmare was real.

Gibbs carefully folded his letter and placed it in his jacket. He leant forward towards Tony but stopped short and picked up the other letter, holding it out to his agent.

"This one's for you Tony."

The agent closed his eyes shut, his hands turning into tight fists, trying to ignore Gibbs' look, and outstretched hand.

"I don't want it. I don't want to know." His green eyes opened up again, looking straight into their blue counterparts. "I've screwed up Gibbs and I don't need anybody to tell me. Especially not Ziva."

Gibbs sighed and dropped the letter back on the table. DiNozzo frowned. His mind was still fuzzy from the anaesthetics.

"How did you get these?" His head pointed in the direction of the table.

"Ziva left them here for us."

"Oh."

"She passed herself as your wife to spend the night with you."

Tony turned his head away from Gibbs and looked through the window. The weather was cloudy outside. He wondered where Ziva was, what she was doing, whether she was thinking of him, angry with him.

He hadn't been much help down at the warehouse. He'd made her cry, he nearly blew her up. None of this would have happened if... he hadn't screwed up in the first place. Being an ass, a superficial joker had kept him out of harm's way, but he now realised how much more he had missed.

When he turned back towards the armchair, Gibbs was gone. Like Kate, like Paula, like Jeanne. Like Ziva. For Anthony D DiNozzo, history would repeat itself unrelentlessly.


	17. Chapter 17

**Very short one, for all those who shouted to know what was in the letter. There you are. I'll try to update with more asap. **

"Thirty-six."

DiNozzo's face was once more turned towards the window, although he was no longer in ICU. He turned back towards Gibbs and repeated this mysterious predicament. "Thirty-six."

"What?"

Gibss had spent the last seven days by his agent's bedside and yet they had hardly exchanged a word.

"Well, thirty-six. The number of coffees you've got in this hospital since... you first left me when I woke up."

His head turned back towards the window.

"Seriously, boss, that was lame. I did need you at that point. And you weren't there."

"Are you calling me on my shit, Tony?"

"Do you really wanna know?" His green eyes bore straight through Gibbs'.

THAT was the reason they hadn't spoken to each other. Gibbs' head dropped down as he looked aimlessly at his hands and the letter he held in his hands.

"Tony, I'm sorry."

"Sign of weakness, boss." His voice was lighthearted but Gibbs could see through his agent's casualness.

"No, you deserve it. I let you down. I shouldn't have gone and got a coffee. "

"No." DiNozzo smiled back. Playing a guilt trip on Gibbs was more fun than he had thought. Plus it made him feel better too.

Gibbs stood up.

"Coffee?" DiNozzo smiled as his boss walked closer to the bed.

"Seriously, DiNozzo... Are you going to read this?" He handed the letter.

Tony's smile dropped.

"I wasn't planning to."

"Do it."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Coz I don't wanna know, boss."

"Come on, you can't spend your life wondering what she's written to you."

Tony grimaced.

"Actually, at the moment, I can."

Gibbs' jaw tensed.

"Read it, DiNozzo." He grabbed his agent's wrist, and shoved the letter in his hand.

"I'll be out signing your discharge papers. I'll be back in five."

Tony sighed looking at the three neatly folded pieces of paper in his palm. Coffee and water rings were now decorating the first page. His fingers ran briefly over the neat letters forming his name before opening all three pages.

_Tony,_

_I__... __There are so many__...__ I remember__..._

All these words crossed out were a testament to Ziva's confused state of mind. Tony frowned.

_I hope that you will one day get a chance to read this letter and that it will find you in better shape than I find you at the time I am writing these words. _

_I remember clearly the first time we met. You were having phone sex with your dead partner (?). You were a pompous, arrogant, handsome bastard and, to all intents and purposes, I believe you still are._

Tony chuckled. Ziva's frankness hadn't been lost in the epistolary nature of her communication.

_When I told you I was tired of pretending, I meant it Tony. And I know you understood. And you chose to ignored me. _

_I do not know why you have tried so hard to push me away when it is so clear from our conversation earlier that the feelings I harbour for you were reciprocated. I wish I knew you better than I do, that you would open your mind to me. I guess I haven't let you in my life either, so we'll call it square._

_I do love you, Tony and I have done for much longer than you think. Had it not been for you, I would never have come back and you wouldn't be lying in this bed dangling between life and death._

_Even without Gibbs' stupid rules, I don't think I would have ever told you. You try too hard to protect yourself and you won't let anybody that matters get to know you as I would have like to. You're missing out. And so did I._

_Anyway, it is too late to regret the past. _

_I doubt that my father will let you and Gibbs get away with this, so I've left you a little present, in the form of your picture frame. I'm sure McGee will work out what I've done to it, but, just in case, make sure you keep it around you at all times._

_Take care of yourself. Take care of Gibbs, Abbs and McGee. They will not tell you because they don't know how but I know they'd be lost without you._

_I will be watching out for you, always. I will always make sure you are ok. Do not look out for me. Do not try to find me. I have learnt my lesson._

_I don't know yet where I'm going, but wherever I am I'll be thinking of you. _

Tears had smudged the ink at that point.

_Do not let anybody tell you you are worthless, Tony. To me you are worth a million. To me you are all that is worth fighting for and all that keeps me alive. _

_Farewell, _

_With all my love_

_Ziva_

____________________________________________________________________________________


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: First, special thanks to those of you who provide regular reviews on this story. It doesn't get unnoticed and I know who you are, I just wasn't sure you'd fancy seeing your name placarded at the start of this chapter. **_

_**I hope you won't be too disappointed to know that I'm almost done torturing Tony and, although that was fun, I'd like to clarify that I'm more interested in character development than long, slow, painful emotional torture on characters that do not belong to me (yes, that's a disclaimer!).**_

_**Enjoy the reading. **_

_**________________________________________________________________________________**_

Much to his relief, Tony was at last on his way home. He hated having to be so reliant on other people to do anything. Much to his displeasure, McGee had helped him getting dressed, Abby had helped him eat, Ducky had wheeled him out whilst telling him an impossible story about the use of anaesthetics in the Crimean War and Gibbs was driving him home.

Actually the driving was much smoother than it had sometimes been. An uneasy silence had expectedly built between the two men so Gibbs turned on the radio. He knew his agent wouldn't want to talk and neither did he want to.

He had seen Tony's eyes clouded with sadness almost akin to mourning in his eyes. DiNozzo had read his letter, he was sure of it. Gibbs' wasn't sure that this would be helping for now, but it would, later.

Tony was uncomfortable. Although he had made his first steps earlier in the week and had been instructed to walk as much as he could, the fact that he couldn't bear any weight on his arms was a major hindrance, which had left him wheelchair-bound for longer than he would have liked. They had found him an expensive, electric one which didn't require the use of his arms, but it made him feel so useless he had resolved to stay in bed most of the time.

The team had been great, as he had expected. Gibbs had hardly ever left his side, Ducky had popped in at least once a day and he knew Abby and McGee had taken some time off to spend more time with him. They had befriended all the nurses and decorated Tony's room with the most garish balloons and flowers imaginable, which sometimes made him feel like the winner of the Miss Stillwater pageant competition

Even Vance had been chipping in. According to Gibbs, the Director had been calling his Mossad counterpart every day since Tony had been admitted to the hospital. According to McGee, each daily exchange lasted over three hours, and, given that Vance could be heard swearing in the bullpen in spite of the soundproofing – much to the hilarity of unknowing agents in other teams – he doubted very much that his conversations were making much headway.

But, let's face it, outside of the much needed help of his team – dare he say his friends -, DiNozzo was increasingly uncomfortable with the truth of what he had been. All the lies, the false pretence to avoid getting too close to her, just because it might not end well, all that had worked. In spite of his self-assured behaviour, his confidence had slowly been eroded by her presence, but he had willingly let it go.

The letter had been an eye opener to him. It had revealed that his behaviour was absolutely despicable. To her and to the rest of the team. And yet they had stuck with him, helping him in his weakest moments. And she had fallen in love with him and rescued him more times than he cared to count.

The radio was still playing some old country tune, the type Tony reckoned Gibbs secretly enjoyed but would never admit to liking. Tony smiled at him. At that point in time he despised himself – for what he had done and for what he hadn't.

Gibbs had noticed the looks. In spite of his best efforts, his driving wasn't quite as calm and composed as he'd like it to be, but Tony didn't seem to complain.

"You're alright, Son?" he asked the younger agent.

Tony liked being referred to as Gibbs' son. His eyes glanced quickly at the odometer before settling back on Gibbs' face.

Rather than answering the question, he asked one of his own. "If you could live your life all over again, boss, would you do anything differently?"

Gibbs sighed. He remained silent for a while before pulling over onto the car park of a DIY center. He unstrapped his seat belt before peering back into his agent's eyes.

"Don't measure yourself up to me Tony. I've spent my whole life having regrets. Look where it led me."

Tony's left hand deftly picked up the letter in his pocket and placed it on his lap. His head dropped forward, his eyes fixated on the folded paper. Gibbs sighed again.

"I thought you should read it. Before you regret not doing so earlier."

"You were right boss. But I'm not sure I was ready for it."

"Ready for what Tony."

"Am I such a pain in the ass?"

Gibbs sniggered."You really wanna know?"

His agent smiled back at him. "I know." He took a deep breath and looked ahead at the doors of the superstore.

"It's just... I feel like... All my life, I've always done the wrong thing. It sounds right at the time, but then reality unfolds and I end up regretting every bit of it."

"Don't, Tony. You haven't done anything wrong. And you're not at fault."

Tony sniggered back.

"No, listen to me", Gibbs continued. "For so long, I have been too conceited to realize that my regrets had been taking over my life. All the rules I made you follow, they were all meant to prevent you..." he pointed vehemently in his agent's direction, "to make the mistakes I had made. I hadn't realised until I read Ziva's letter..."

He turned away from Tony to look through the windscreen too. "This is life, Tony. You live, you regret some of it, but, the truth be told, I wouldn't do anything differently. And I've tried to prevent you from making the same mistakes but, in the end... I've just screwed you over."

"But you haven't boss. Look at us now. We're brilliant agents, even McGee, and we've done more than anyone would wish to achieve in a lifetime. I don't think your _rules_ have hindered us in anyway. To be honest, even without Rule 12 or any other, nothing would ever have happened differently, boss. Because this isn't to do with _your _rules. It's got to do with _mine._"

"Di Nozzos never pass out?"

Tony smiled. "DiNozzos never admit they're in love".

Gibbs smiled back and started the car again without glancing at his agent.

"Feeling better, son?"

"Much better, thanks." He hesitated. "Just to be clear?"

"Yes, Tony, all rules are scrapped with immediate effect. Just don't tell McGee just yet." Tony started laughing and was soon joined by Gibbs who drove away.

__________________________________________________________________________________

"Abbs, I think I've got something."

McGee and Abby had been sitting in the lab for nearly 5 hours. Without Gibbs, Tony or Ziva, there wasn't much of a team around to investigate with, so McGee had found refuge in his favourite lab tech.

"What is it?"

Over the past five days, they had worked day and night to find a trace of Ziva. Gibbs had formally forbidden them to try to find Ziva, but Abby had soon coerced McGee to help her find anything relating to Ziva. It hadn't been that difficult. She had pinned him against a wall, kissed him, pushed him back to her bed/coffinroom and made sweet love to him until he abdicated through sheer exhaustion.

Abby's reasoning was that Gibbs had only asked them not to try and trace them. He had never mentioned anything about checking that she was alive. Tim was secretly worried that finding what she was up to may lead them to know where she was but he couldn't help thinking that this may not be such a bad thing after all, and all in all it was well worth Gibbs' temporary resentment.

"What is it?", she repeated as he pulled her towards him .

She applied a kiss to his neck, just behind his right ear. A form appeared on screen and she peered over his shoulder, her lips still pressed against his neck.

"Very good, Timmy." Her kisses slowly edged towards his jaw line, down onto his chin before almost reaching his mouth. Her eyes locked with his, her lips almost touching his. She whispered: "Now, I think this deserves a reward."

"Anything in mind?"

Before he could say anything else, she pushed his chest back with both hands and he fell heavily on the futon they had been sleeping in for the past few days. She walked all the way to the door, closed it and locked. "Oh yeah."

__________________________________________________________________________________

_**Well, I was planning on making this double length, but then you'd have to wait another few days to get this so I'd rather post it now and give you the rest of the chapter later this week. **_

_**For those of you who felt "ouch": Yes, I know falling backwards on a futon may hurt, but I don't think Abby's got any better bed in her office, so this will have to do.**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**I've really struggled with this chapter and rewritten it three times, but it's still not as good as I'd like. So, sorry if you don't like it.**_

_**More importantly, the next one is all worked out and I hope you'll like it because I'm certainly having a LOT of fun writing it.**_

"Uhhh, boss, that's not the way to my place."

"Your sense of observation is very acute, Tony" responded Gibbs, his lips imperceptibly drawn forward as he said so.

"Well, I thought we were going home."

"We are. I never said it was yours."

Tony did a double take. "Oh, no. No! I'm not moving in with you, boss." He shook his head frantically to show his disapproval. Gibbs, kept staring at the road, unphased. "There's no way I... Listen, I just want to go home, get my things in order and be left alone."

"I know." Gibbs glanced in the direction of his agent. "But honestly, Tony, you can't eat on your own, move about, get up, get dressed..."

"I know... It's just... God this is embarrassing... No offence, boss, but you're not my first choice carer."

"Oh yeah, DiNozzo? Care to let me know who is? Because other than McGee, Abs, Ducky and I, I haven't seen crowds rushing to your bedside." There was a hint of cynicism in Gibbs' voice which Tony didn't like and the awkward way in which his boss was offering his help was all too familiar. Gibbs would never be a "people" person. But under his gruff manners, he was a kind man.

Tony remained silent for a while. He knew there was no other choice. Gibbs was right. There was nobody else. No one to call a family and no other friends than his team. _Not so dissimilar to Gibbs_, he thought in passing.

"It's very nice of you, boss and I don't want to sound unappreciative..."

"Good, because we're still going home."

"Mind if we stop by my place to grab a few things?"

"Sure."

Silence fell again between both men.

__________________________________________________________________________________

"It's really not enough, McGee."

"Uhh..." McGee froze in her arms, his eyes rolling from side to side in bewilderment. "Was it that bad?"

She chuckled. "No, it was great McCasanova. I was just thinking about Ziva."

"What about her?"

"We need to look further, Timmy. We need to find something else.This..." She pointed at the screen. "... just isn't enough."

"Well, I've checked through all the databases I could find. Missing persons, lists of plane passengers from all international airports, Homeland Security, FBI, the lot."

"We must be missing something."

She got up, checked her attire and proceeded back to her desk. McGee soon joined her.

"We need to think outside the box, McGee. Come on. Think like Ziva."

"Uhh... Whatever it is, it looks as though Gibbs thinks she doesn't want to be found, let alone to get in touch with us. What makes you think that..."

"Because she's mollified over time, Timmy. Yes, you heard me, mollified. She's no longer the kickass assassin she used to be. Well, she still kicks ass, but now she's nice too."

"All right. So Ziva wants to get in touch with us. She'll... send a letter?"

"Good try, McGee, but that would give away where she is." Abby crunched her face, turning her eyes into mere slits. "Hmm... Unless she send her letter to somebody who sends to somebody else who sends it to som...

"I get the picture Abs."

"No, I'm sure she will have done something clever. You know, McGee, Ziva's much cleverer than you and Tony give her credit for. Not as clever as Gibbs, but much cleverer than you." McGee pouted.

"OK, I digress. Sorry, I do that when I run out."

"Of what?"

"Err, ideas, inspiration, energy... Caf Pow?" She looked expectantly at McGee who melted in front of her imploring eyes.

"Caf Pow it is! I'll be back in five, Abs."

__________________________________________________________________________________

Gibbs parked in front of DiNozzo's block, took the wheelchair out of the boot and proceeded to the passenger side to help his agent out. He was met by the angriest frown he had witnessed in his agent since the Domino disaster.

"What?"

"This. Boss. Is. A. Fucking. Nightmare!"

Gibbs smiled whilst securing his arm around Tony's waist.

"Honestly Gibbs. Remember how you felt in that tiny gown they gave you in hospital when you were blown up?"

"I do, DiNozzo."

"Well, imagine feeling ten times as exposed and ridiculous and you will get close to what I feel right now."

He sat back, wincing, whilst Gibbs started to push him towards the door.

He pressed the button to call the elevator. _Ding._ The doors opened.

"Tony?"

"Hi Roger."

"Gosh, your girlfriend said you were injured but I didn't... I mean, she didn't seem..."

"Girlfriend?" Gibbs cocked his head.

Roger looked back at the agent suspiciously. Tony proceeded to introduce the two men.

"Roger. Gibbs." The two men were still gauging each other.

"Care agency was short-staffed so they assigned him to me" he continued before receiving a whopping headslap. "Sorry, Boss."

"That's your boss?"

"Yeah, Roger", replied Tony dismissively. "So, what about my girlfriend? How many times did you see her?"

"Uhhh", Roger looked alarmed and slightly scared by the interrogation the two agents were subjecting him to. "I only saw her once, about a week ago. She said you'd been injured and that she was just grabbing some stuff to bring to the hospital."

Gibbs passed his hand over his face and sighed. "Did she give you her name?"

"She said she was called Kate." Listen, did I do something wrong?"

"No, Roger, it's fine." He sighed. Roger looked scared and concerned. "Kate's disappeared. We're just trying to find out where she went."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tony. I... She dropped by on her way out and left an envelope under my door for you." Wait, I'll go get it."

The two agents waited patiently in front of the elevator. Roger reappeared huffing and puffing down the stairs.

"Should exercise more" he said apologetically. "There you go."

Gibbs opened the envelope hurriedly. It contained a bunch of keys and a small piece of paper. He handed both to Tony.

_Your keys. Thanks, Z._

_________________________________________________________________________________

Tim had hardly set foot back in the lab that Abby's beckoning voice made itself heard:

"Timmy, how much do you love me?"

"What?" She turned towards him.

"On a scale of one to ten?"

"Do I really need to answer that?" Abby realised that he looked confused and smiled back at him.

"No. Come over here." McGee made his way to her desk and placed his arm around her waist, pecking her chastely on the cheek.

She grabbed the CafPow before he had time to hand it to her and slurped heavily before placing it back onto his desk.

"Let me rephrase this. How much do you think Tony will love me when he sees... This!"

As she said so, the screen lit up.

They watched, side-by-side, for five long minutes. Abby's hand had slowly made her way to McGee's and they stayed standing there staring at the screen until it turned black again.

"Abby, this is amaz... Why are you crying?"

"Because it's beautiful. But it's so sad Timmy" She buried her head in his shoulder as McGee gave her a tight hug.

"I think Tony will love it. How did you find it?"

"Easy." She sniffled back, drying her tears with the hand of her hand. "We were really stupid not to have thought about it earlier."

"Where?"

"Where would you go if you wanted to post a video online to share with the world?" She clicked on the link again and the web address came back on screen. Tim smiled.

"That easy, really?" He was so annoyed he hadn't thought about that himself.

"Yep."

_________________________________________________________________________________

"Gibbs"

"_Gibbs, it's me."_

"What do you want, Abs?"

"_Is Tony with you?"_

"Yeah."

"_Can you bring him to the bullpen? McGee and I have something to show you."_

"Can't it wait, Abs?"

"_No, Gibbs, please, trust me, this is important."_ There was something strange lingering in the forensic scientist's voice. Something that Gibbs couldn't quite work out.

"You OK, Abs."

"_Fine. Please get here when you can."_

"Will do, Abs."

He closed his phone and made his way towards the bedroom, knocking on the door before entering.

Tony was sitting in the middle of the room, surrounded by clothes strewn on the floor, holding a picture in his hand.

Gibbs looked around. "That's a lot of pictures you have here DiNozzo."

The agent lifted his head up, responding to Gibbs with a sad smile.

"Gotta go, Tony. Abby's got something for us."


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Yay! is back! **_

_**Right, a longish note:**_

_**First, thanks again for reviews. They make me happy and I feel sad when they don't come anymore. Well, that will teach me not to update any sooner. On the other hand, life does have this habit of taking over everything when you least expect it.**_

_**I've really enjoyed writing this chapter, but I'm not sure how much you lot will like it. Let's put it like this: It's very descriptive, and would be amazing as a video, but I doubt Cote de Pablo would oblige, so what follows will have to do.**_

_**If you can, may I recommend that you listen to Coldplay's "Fix You" (no copyright infringement intended) whilst reading this chapter (I promise it will help greatly). Have fun!**_

________________________________________________________________________________

The car's engine droned on. Gibbs' driving style was still overly gentle by his standards, but Tony really looked crap. He wished Abby had chosen another time to call. His eyes focused on the road, as he recalled with clarity the pictures on Tony's wall, and his expression when his agent looked up to him.

Tony clearly wasn't his usual self, and Gibbs could only speculate at the reasons that made _this time_ any different from the others. Yes, he had struggled after the plague, mourned after Kate's death and Jeanne's departure. Jenny's death had been a serious trauma to all of them, and DiNozzo wasn't the best at handling it, but he got there. This one was different. He was… Broken. Body, mind and spirit crushed beyond recognition.

Silence had settled awkwardly between both men. Tony's head was bent forward, the picture still in his hand.

Gibbs parked the car outside as close to the elevator door as possible. He stopped the engine. Neither man moved.

"You ready DiNozzo?"

"No." The head was still bent forward, eyes still locked on the face in the picture.

"That's fine, we'll wait five minutes."

"You don't get it, boss. I'm not going in."

Gibbs felt anger rise up through his body at Tony's answer. He had tried harder than he would have done for anybody else, but he had reached the limits of the compassion and sympathy he could show to anybody. Yes, he cared, more than he wished to, but Leroy Jethro Gibbs was still the emotionally stunted man he had been since Shannon's death. And right now, Tony was trying his patience.

"Damn, Tony!" He hit the steering wheel with his fist. "What's the matter with you _now_?"

Tony picked up on the emphasis. He lifted up from the picture and turned to Gibbs. Gibbs was taken aback by the shear fury in Tony's eyes.

"You think it's that easy, do you?" he shouted. "That DiNozzo is just being a royal pain in the ass. Thanks, boss, it's really nice to know one is appreciated and valued around here." Gibbs briefly looked at his own hands on the wheel. How could he not notice how much _he_ cared, how much they all cared? The uncalled violence in the young man's expression pained him and he made a conscious effort to keep his own anger at bay.

"What then?" His voice was calm and composed.

Tony's anger hadn't subsided. "Would you want to go out and expose yourself in front of the whole office like that?" He gestured with his left hand. "Honestly?" Gibbs remained silent so he continued. "I know I don't have much of a reputation, but I've still got some pride boss… And it doesn't include being wheeled into the office like a…"

Words had escaped him for a second. Gibbs knew exactly was his agent was going to say, and didn't wish to hear it.

"OK." He sighed and took out his phone.

"I'm sorry boss."

"Don't be, son." He had noticed how this word seemed to have an almost hypnotic effect on his agent and hoped that it would go some way to soothing him.

He pressed on the speed dial button and took the phone to his hear. "McGee… Yeah. I'm in the car park with Tony. Can you join us here?... No... Tell Abby to get Ducky upstairs…. Yeah… Well, you'll have to tell him yourself!... Now!" He hung up sharply.

A much atoned Tony glanced at him. "What was that about?" Gibbs' eyes focused on the elevator door, as McGee emerged from it.

"You don't want to be dragged into the office, we'll help you walk your way in." Gibbs took care to avoid the alarm in his agent's eyes and got out of the vehicle to greet McGee.

_________________________________________________________________________________

"It'd better be good McGee." They could hardly hear him through his gritted teeth, his eyes intently shut to absorb the searing pain.

"It'll be worth it, trust me."

McGee could help but wonder at Tony's willpower. There was no way this wasn't hurting and in spite of it all, he was almost managing to keep a straight face. The walking stick in his left hand steadied him a bit while both his friends held him tight around the waist, trying to diffuse some of his own weight from the ground.

The result wasn't brilliant but Tony could walk.

Ping. The doors slowly opened onto the open plan office.

"Let go McGee."

"But, Tony..."

Their eyes met for an instant. Tony's were empty, imbued with an impenetrable void and yet piercing through Tim's soul. "Please", he pleaded. McGee looked up to Gibbs, who nodded in agreement. Tony tentatively started walking out of the elevator. At every step, he muffled another cry of agony. _It'd better be worth it, _he thought again.

Gibbs, his left arm wrapped around the agent's waist, was slowly leading him to the relative safety of his desk. His other hand was crushed in Tony's, who was putting as much weight as he could on his sore arm.

Carroll's team were the first to notice DiNozzo's entrance. He looked much worse than they had been led to believe. His face was swollen, but he held his head high and his back as straight as he could. Agent Luntley rose first and greeted him from his desk. "DiNozzo, nice to see you again."

Gibbs knew how much this was costing Tony. Much more than his pride, and much more than the self-inflicted pain, he was leaving behind the image of a carefree, unburdened man. He cursed the agents who were now starting to congregate around the bullpen and signified to their team leaders that he'd rather they all got back to work.

Ducky was seating in the bullpen and, upon seeing his young friend hobbling along, let out a cry:

"For pity's sake, Anthony, what were you thinking?"

"It was my idea, Duck" Gibbs admitted, gesturing to the doctor whilst Abby brought the chair from behind Tony's desk and McGee helped him sit down between his own desk and Ziva's.

With remarkable acuteness, Dr Mallard picked up on the silent signal and assessed the situation.

Tony was flushed and his hands were quavering, but he was otherwise no worse for wear. The doctor endeavoured to check him over.

Turning his back on Tony, Gibbs signed to Abby. She looked down to the floor.

"Well, don't get mad at me." She was wringing her hands and looking in McGee's direction for support. He stood up and came to stand by her, placing his hand on the small of her back.

"You said you didn't want us to look for Ziva and..." Gibbs rolled her eyes. He was clearly unimpressed and about to shout but she beat him to it.

"NO! We didn't! But we looked for signs that she was alive... And we found a few things."

"Define a few things."Ignoring Gibbs' cross repartee, Abby walked past him and crouched in front of Tony. Ducky had finished examining him and stood next to him.

She looked straight at Tony's face, unperturbed by the bruises and cuts. "We didn't know how to help, Tony. I hope you won't get mad at us for trying."

Tony pulled Abby towards him, and she fell on her knees as he hugged her. "Never, Abs. Thank you. For whatever you've found. Whatever it is."

Abby stood back up and sat on McGee's lap, who had gone back to his own desk. Gibbs went back to his own desk. Only Tony sat in the middle of the bullpen. _Dinner theatre for an audience of one,_ _when does the curtain go down, _he thought, smirking to himself. He could no longer feel Ducky's presence by his side and was surprised to see that the pathologist had gone up to the mezzanine where he was looking down on them side by side with Director Vance.

Abby hadn't noticed, though. She patted McGee on the shoulder.

"Timmy, exhibit one."

McGee sighed, smiling apologetically in Tony's direction, and handed her the picture frame. _His_ picture frame, with _his _team inside it. Abby stood up and handed it back to Tony.

"McGee has worked out what she did to it."

"Well, it was pretty obvious", McGee continued, "She's put a small deactivator on it. Basically, it neutralises any bug, microphone or camera planted within a radius of 3 meters. I reckon that..."

Abby interrupted. "We reckon that Ziva thought your flat or the office would be tapped. It's quite a nice idea, because it's small enough for you to carry around and rather inconspicuous in the frame."

Much to her surprise, Tony's features didn't display any sign of reaction. He was just looking at her, seriousness etched all over his face.

Abby babbled on. "Then, McGee hacked into everything he could to find any record of Ziva. And he found this!" She directed the clicker at the screen and a form appeared.

"What is it, McGee?", asked Gibbs from his corner.

"Uhhh. It's an application for political asylum filled in the day after Ziva disappeared."

Gibbs stared at the screen for a moment. He had not considered that Ziva was now illegally in the country, as her father had rescinded her liaison assignment. Ziva was on the run from her family, from Mossad, and now from the country which she had almost called home until the previous week.

Without lifting his head, he shouted out. "Leon, you take care of this one. I'm sure you know somebody at USCIS."

"I sure do, Agent Gibbs." He smiled. Vance hadn't enjoyed being discredited by his old Mossad friend, and, although he didn't like Gibbs and his methods, he knew where his allegiance lied on this case.

A few agents had risen from their seats, aware of the agitation that reigned over the bullpen. Gibbs turned his chair in Abby's direction.

"Is that it, Abs?"

She couldn't decide whether his voice was tinted with praise, disappointment or reproach. "Noooo... I've kept the best for last. I've found this one online. It's been posted in Nigeria by a certain Magalugu, but I doubt this is where the video originates from. McGee and I think that this person, whoever they are, were probably sent the video and uploaded it. There's no way to trace where it came from or who made it, but..."

"But what, Abs..."

"Well, I can't prove it, but... I'm sure it's genuine."

Gibbs turned to McGee.

"I'll second that, boss. There's no way that... Well, it's obvious. Abby, just show them."

Abby pressed on the clicker and the screen went black.

________________________________________________________________________________

Chinese looking letters appeared on the screen. They spelt:

A CRAZY NINJA CHICK PRODUCTION

"What's this?" Gibbs pointed at the bottom of the screen whilst an organ started playing in the background.

"It's Hebrew, I haven't been able to get it translated yet", Abby answered apologetically.

"Leave them alone, they don't know where I am."

The ethereal voice that had uttered these few words was Tony's. His expression was indecipherable, his eyes transfixed by the words on screen.

All turned back to him as he spoke. "How do you know that?" McGee asked. Tony remained still and silent as Ziva appeared on screen.

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed_

Ziva was standing in a white-walled room with a wooden shelf on the wall behind her. There was nothing around her that could identify where she was.

She was wearing cargo pants, a white tee-shirt and a brown short-sleeved blouse opened at the front. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and wrapped in a headscarf. Tony knew that look too well, and didn't like it. She looked just like the day they had first met. Before she changed. Before she became part of the team.

This was Ziva the Mossad assassin, not their Ziva. Her expression, like Tony's, was unfathomable, her eyes empty.

In her hands, she held a piece of card on which were written the words:

FOR MY "A" TEAM

_When you get what you want, but not what you need_

She threw the card away, revealing another one behind it, with the picture of a black and white Caf'Pow container.

"Ugh?" Gibbs was somewhat confused.

"Wait, wait..." Abby silenced him.

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
_

Ziva placed the Caf'Pow illustration on the shelf before showing them the next one, which represented a duck in a lab coat.

Gibbs looked up at the mezzanine, where the pathologist was still standing alongside the Director. Ducky nodded back in agreement. "She's talking to us Jethrow. I must say it is a cunning way to ensure we pick up the message without being identified."

_Stuck in reverse  
_

The duck had joined the Caf'Pow on the shelf and Ziva now revealed the picture of a...

"Silver fox" Abby beamed at Gibbs. "She remembered" the lab tech added proudly.

_And the tears come streaming down your face_

As she once more came back from the shelf, a single tear appear on Ziva's cheek, silently echoing the mood of the song.

She picked up something on the floor, which turned out to be a horrible-looking garden gnome with a crown.

Gibbs frowned in disarray. "What the hell is that?"

Tony sniggered out of his torpor, a smile etching itself on his masculine features. "I don't think Ziva knows what an Elf Lord looks like, boss". Gibbs smiled back, crossing eyes with Abby. Both were glad to see Tony respond to the puzzle that was presented to them.

Unfortunately, that instant didn't last. They had all counted expectantly, and knew that the only thing missing on the shelf was Tony.

_When you lose something you can't replace_

But instead of drawing out another item to add it to the growing collection behind her, Ziva's hand reached for her own neck, where she brought out a little chain, to which a key was attached. She kissed the key and let it drop.

In the bullpen, Tony simultaneously reached for the chain around his neck, drew it out and kissed the Star of David before dropping it again.

Abby held her breath, her eyes riveted to the agent. Until that instant, no one in the room knew that Ziva had given him her most treasured possession.

Lost in his thoughts, Tony seemed oblivious to the fact that a growing number of agents, intrigued by the noise emanating from the bullpen had gathered around.

_  
When you love someone but it goes to waste_

At last Ziva bent down to pick up another item. It was a small Mr T action figurine, complete with facial hair and golden chains.

Gibbs frowned again. That was an odd choice. He glanced back at his agent, whose features were unchanged. He turned back to Ducky, who shrugged, holding his hands up.

_Could it be worse?  
_

Ziva cradled the doll onto the shelf and once more returned to the screen.

_Lights will guide you home, _

A new set of cards appeared in her hands.

The first one read:

I AM SORRY.

Ziva turned the card over to look at it, faked an air of surprise and headslapped herself.

Gibbs grinned.

_  
And ignite your bones, _

I LOVE YOU ALL

_  
And I will try to fix you, _

AND I MISS YOU ALL.

Smiling at the camera, she unwrapped the scarf and untied her hair, letting it flow around her face.

She picked yet another set of cards. McGee couldn't help thinking how long the whole set up must have taken her. Well, at least, wherever she was, she had enough time to entertain them.

_High up above or down below_

SOMEONE VERY WISE ONCE TOLD ME

_When you're too in love to let it go_

THAT I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS...

_But if you never try you'll never know_

AND THAT I DON'T KNOW...

_  
Just what you're worth  
_

HOW TO HAVE FUN

_Lights will guide you home_

WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE

_  
And ignite your bones_

AND I SHALL PROVE IT

_  
And I will try to fix you  
_

NOW!

Ziva's hand rose in the hair as she pointed to the ceiling as the screen faded to black again.

In spite of knowing what was about to come up on screen, Abby and McGee had not anticipated what happened next.

A substantial crowd had now gathered around the partitions of the bullpen, and were intently watching the video. As the guitar solo started, unprompted cheers and applause emerged from all sides of the office.

Ziva had suddenly appeared on screen and was dispensing her best air guitar moves on a Fender Stratocaster.

As the drums joined in, the screen split in half. Ziva was still playing guitar on the left whilst air drumming on the right.

The crowd of agents around them was enjoying the show, and Gibbs couldn't help but smiling. Wherever she was, Ziva was seemingly safe and well and had sought to reassure them as to her well-being.

_Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace_

The screen divided in four, then sixteen, and loads of little film extracts appeared. Bombs exploding, boats sinking, actors shooting, couples kissing, cries, laughs, life, death, all mixed. Brando, Connery, Pitt, Clooney, De Niro, Redford, all the great names were there.

"What..." Gibbs was speechless.

_  
Tears stream down your face  
And I _

So absorbed was he with the video that, for a moment, Gibbs had forgotten about the agent helplessly sitting in the middle of the bullpen.

Tony was slumped in the chair, holding his head high. For an instant, Gibbs panicked as the agent's breathing seemed laboured and shallow again. A genuine smile beamed on his face, his tongue pushing against the back of his teeth to hold back the sobs. Tears were flowing freely over his face.

_Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes_

Ziva had disappeared from the screen, as films randomly continued to play on the screen.

_  
Tears stream down your face  
And I  
_

As Gibbs stepped behind his agent to shield him from other agents, he noticed that both Abby and McGee had already done so. An overwhelming sense of pride washed over him as he realised what an amazing team he had been blessed with.

Taking his place between the goth and the probie, he placed his hands on Tony's shoulders.

The screen turned black again as the music softened. Ziva reappeared, her smiling face glowing against the black background.

_Lights will guide you home_

She pointed at herself...

_  
And ignite your bones_

Crossed her arms across her chest...

_  
And I will try to fix you._

And pointed at the camera.

As the screen faded to black, Tony repeated the same movement with his left arm and murmured to himself "I love you too, Ziva."

______________________________________________________________________

The office filled up with the sound of applause and cheers. All agents were standing around, clapping frenetically. None of them knew or understood the significance of what they had just watched, but something in the attitude of the three people standing around their injured team-mate in the bullpen told them all that this was important.

From the upper deck, Director Vance addressed the crowd.

"Alright, alright... Coffee break's over. Back to work, ladies and gentlemen." All agents complied dutifully and returned to their desks.

Ducky turned towards the Director. "Director, with all due respect, I hope you realise that we have to get her back."

"I know, Dr Mallard, I know."

Down in the bullpen, Abby, Gibbs and McGee were still surrounding Tony. Whilst Gibbs kept his hands on the agent's shoulders, McGee and Abby crouched next to him. McGee patted him gently on the thigh.

"Did you like it?" She asked Tony. Her eyes were red and her makeup had bled all over her face.

"Abby, this was... amazing..." He drew a deep breath. "You guys are amazing." Abby jumped on him and hugged him as tight has she possibly could before she felt Gibbs' hand pushing her away as Tony winced in pain. Tony turned to McGee, who was unsure how to behave. Tony wrapped his arm around his probie and, before he had time to react, drew him to an embrace, patting him on the back.

"McGee. Thanks... For everything..."

As he let go of McGee, DiNozzo threw his arm back over his shoulder and placed his hand over Gibbs'. "Thanks, boss."

They remained there silently for a few minutes, taking in everything that had just happened and relishing in the proximity of those whose company they enjoyed most. After a while, they all became uncomfortable, and Gibbs disbanded the group hug by throwing a short "Well done", which Abby and McGee took as a cue to stand up and go.

However, Gibbs didn't move, his hands still set on his senior agent's shoulders.

"Care to let me know what that was about, Tony?"

"What do you mean, boss?"

"Happiness and tears? Seriously, DiNozzo?"

Tony smirked. "I guess "I'm happy to see that she's alive and well" won't do?"

"Nope."

"You're good, boss." Gibbs walked round to face his agent and crouched in front of him.

"I know, that's why I'm your boss." Tony smiled back. Gibbs prompted him again. "So?"

Tony flashed a dazzling smile. "I know where she is."

______________________________________________________________________

_**Teeheehee, so do I, and so will most of the people who've been reading this story carefully. At least Tony's now a happy bunny!**_

_**Btw, I am in desperate need of a beta so if English is your first language, that you know everything there is to know about grammar, spelling, synonyms, a predilection for angst/romance stories and have an interest in helping me taking this story and others further, please PM me.**_


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, and sorry for the lack of updates. For those who asked, I will explain at some point what the video meant to Tony...**

**I'm going away for two weeks at the end of next week, so I'll try to update as often as I can this week. **

**Thanks again for keeping reading this story.**

____________________________________________________________________________________

_Tony flashed a dazzling smile. "I know where she is". _

____________________________________________________________________________________

"Care to elaborate?" Gibbs prompted.

"No." Gibbs was not amused.

"Come on, DiNozzo…" The begging made Tony's heart grow fonder and he toyed with the idea of telling his boss, but, as the words were about to pass his lips, he thought better of it. Gibbs noticed his agent's dithering attitude and decided not to push it further. Yet.

"Is she safe?"

"Yes, she is." He clutched the little frame tighter into his swollen hands and added softly for Gibbs' benefit, "She'll remain so as long as nobody suspects that I know where she is. And so will you."

Gibbs eyes dropped to the frame too. He was touched that his senior agent thought of his well-being and, he was sure, that of the rest of the team too. "How…"

"… do I know where she is?" His brow creased as he finished the unuttered sentence. He lifted his head up and looked around suspiciously and sighed.

"Listen, boss. Can we have that conversation later? I mean… there's a lot of people around here and… Well, I assume you're going to take me back "home" anyway later."

Gibbs nodded in agreement and stood up, taking a second to loosen his numb legs. As he walked past DiNozzo, he patted his shoulder and added "We'll get her back, Tony" before disappearing in the lift.

__________________________________________________________________________________

McGee and Abby had automatically headed for the lab, but Ducky had met them on his way down from the mezzanine and the motley crew had migrated towards the relative quietness of the pathologist's den.

As he alighted from the elevator, Gibbs heard Abby's shrill voice.

"But Timmy, he looks horrible… He looks _so_ sad! I thought… I thought maybe…" The rest of the sentence was muffled by what Gibbs suspected might be McGee's shoulder.

"Abigail, young Anthony has been through a lot over the last week. You cannot blame him for his current frame of mind. Besides, who are we to bear judgement on him when none of us knows for sure what happened to him?"

"Well, if he had confided in us, we could have helped more!" retorted Abby.

"You have done plenty already, Abs". Gibbs' appearance in the doorframe had been unnoticed and the three acolytes turned over to him. Gibbs raised an eyebrow at the sight of his favourite nestled against McGee's chest. His tone was neither reproachful nor reassuring, and Abby squirmed at the sound of his voice. She extricated herself from McGee's embrace and stepped forward, her head bowed in submission, awaiting the sentence. "I'm sorry, Gibbs."

"Why?"

"Well, I have disobeyed a direct order, and implicated McGee in my search for Ziva."

"And?" His face was indecipherable.

"Well, I thought you'd be mad at me and McGee for…"

"Right now, I don't know who I'm the most mad at, Abs." He pointed at her. "You, for going behind my back". "You…" His finger moved menacingly to McGee. "For helping her and being there for her". McGee stood still, fully understanding the hidden message that was carried by the icy blue eyes. "You, Duck, for not calling me up on my mistakes or _him_…" he pointed upwards "for refusing to open up and tell me what he knows."

Abby smiled sadly as she hugged Gibbs in an attempt to appease him but stepped back when her embrace went unrequited.

Gibbs' face had suddenly hardened. "McGee, go back upstairs and keep Tony company. " Tim exited promptly, sending Abby a worried look over his shoulder on his way out.

Whilst Abby's eyes were looking from some unknown company on the grey floor of the lab, Ducky's had remained locked to his friend's face. His features betrayed his anger, but there was sadness in his gaze that betrayed some deeper turmoil.

"What is it, Jethro?"

Gibbs remained silent and turned to Abby, given her _the_ stare. Ducky was uncomfortable with the situation. He could see the anger rise steadily in Gibbs and his friend's foul mood would explode soon enough, with him for sole company and witness.

"Listen", Abby started with a broken voice. "I said I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done what I did, but you left me all alone and McGee was bored and Tony looked so sad I cried every time I looked at him. And then I also missed Ziva and it felt like Timmy and I had been abandoned and that there was no team anymore. And I just couldn't stand the idea of not seeing all of you around anymore, so…"

Before she finished her diatribe, Gibbs interrupted. "Have I ever abandoned you, Abs?"

"Honestly? Do you really want me to answer that?" The bluntness of her answer tore through his heart like a bullet as she continued.

"I've lost you twice before, Gibbs. And yes, you came back and I was all happy again, but I can't… I just can't start to think how my life would be without you." Tears were brimming on the edge of her eyelashes. "I just can't do it anymore, Gibbs. You, I, the team, we're family. Every time one of you gets hurt, a bit of my heart gets torn away. If you died, I'd die too and none of them could save me, not even Timmy. And if anyone of them dies or disappears forever, I'll be broken, and you'll be broken too, and the team… Well, there won't be a team anymore. And right now, I can't deal with that. So yes, I got McGee to help me. And yes, we did try to find Ziva." She moved a step closer to Gibbs, invading his personal space. "I need hope, Gibbs. I just want them back, all of them. I just want to see Tony happy again. I can't stand seeing him beating himself up for things he had no control over. I can't do it anymore. I want my Tony back."

"I know, Abs. And he wants _his _Ziva back." Gibbs took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Abby's shoulders, holding her tight to his chest. His anger towards his team had subsided, only to be replaced by feelings he couldn't even start to contemplate. He pressed his lips against her forehead before adding: "And I promise I'll never…" She pressed her finger against his lips to shut him up.

"Don't. I know you won't be able to keep that promise." She disentangled herself from his arms, tears streaming on her cheeks.

"If somebody's looking for me, I'll be in the lab, dissecting that video to see what else I can find."

"Abs!" He called after her. Without looking back, she waved her hand at him to signify that she wanted to be left alone and stepped out of the lab.

Knowing that nobody would know any different, and unwilling to witness his friends' feuds, Ducky had gone to his desk, where he had poured himself a Scotch and absent-mindedly started peering over files. With Abby gone, he knew that his services were now going to be required and turned back to his friend, handing him a glass half filled with the same amber liquid.

What he had not expected to see was the single tear falling on Jethro's face as he murmured "I've let them down, Duck."

__________________________________________________________________________________

"You're alright, Tony?" McGee asked nonchalantly as he entered the bullpen.

"Whadyathink, Probie." Tony wasn't in the prettiest of moods. "I feel like a monkey in a zoo. All those… people looking at me…"

"Well, that's not that far from the truth, Tony", answered McGee in a cheerful voice.

"I'd slap your head if you weren't so tall, McGoo. Now, help me back behind my desk. I can at least pretend that I'm working."

"Ok."

Tim pushed Tony's chair all the way around his desk. "There, happy?"

"Better, thanks". Tony's head was bent over his desk, his eyes bewitched by the team picture, which he lay carefully on his desk.

"Uh, Tony?"

"Yeah?" The young agent was still standing in front of his desk.

"I just wanted to say, if you need anything or if you wanna talk…"

Tony sighed. "I know. Thanks."

McGee sat back at his desk, playing with some random object on his desk, pushing it around with a pencil. He sighed and shrugged before asking.

"Seriously, Tony. Did that video mean anything to you? Did it at least make you king of happy or relieved or… I dunno, anything?" His voice like the pencil pushing game, was becoming more animated.

"It was nice, thanks." The words were truly inadequate, but Tony couldn't describe the mix feelings that had overtaken him.

"Well, that's not enough, really. I mean, Abby and I have been working flat out since you got to hospital. _I'_ve hardly slept or eaten in five days. Abby..."

Tony smiled mischievously. "No time for McSex, then." He hadn't anticipated McGee's reaction. The young man got up swiftly, swerved Tony's chair around and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him upwards.

"You may want to watch your mouth, DiNozzo." He let go of the fabric and sat down on his chair. "You're just so selfish, blind and arrogant, Tony, it's unbelievable. Can't you just wake up and see things for what they are? Gibbs, he's bent backwards to stay with you this week. Abby, she can't stop crying whenever she goes to see you. And I? I've spent most of my time trying to calm her down and the rest of it trying to do something that would help you."

Tim's eyes reached for the little gimmick on the desk as he started pushing it around again. "I may look so, Tony, but I'm not stupid. I know full well that you all think I'm some kind of nerd who'll never make a brilliant agent, well, maybe in cybercrimes, but not in the field. I know I'm not Abby's first choice. Not even her second. But I'm fine with that. I mean, I know if she had a choice, Gibbs would win any time. And she'd save you over me; she'd do anything for you. But I'm fine with that too. I love her for what she is, and what she gives me back is enough to make me happy. So I want you to respect that."

Tony nodded, slowly realising the error of his ways.

"I just hoped all along that all our efforts would be worth it, that you'd see something we didn't, that it would all make some sense to you. No one on the team is blind, Tony. We all know that you and Ziva have this..." he struck his fists together," ... bond that none of us fully understands. I was hoping that..."

"I did. See things that you didn't. I just wanted to protect her, you, the team."

"You don't trust us, then?"

"McGee, you just don't get it. This is no IT kindergarten of yours! Lives beyond mine and Ziva's depend on this, and I'm not prepared to put yours or Abby's or Gibbs' at risk just because I think I may have seen something on a video."

"You did see something, then."

"That's not the point."

"Yes it is. Catch!" He threw the little object he'd been playing with in DiNozzo's direction."

"What's that?"

"Some nerdy Elf Lord magic for you. It's a tiny webcam I've modified." He scribbled something on a piece of paper. "You can stick it on the frame, and nobody will be able to detect it."

"How does it work?"

"Sort of like a webcam. You press the switch, it turns on and you can record something." He handed Tony the sheet of paper.

"What's that?"

"The web address to which it's downloading and the three passwords you need to open the page. Trust me, it's safe. Unless you have the address, you won't know that it exists, so there's no chance of it being detected."

"So?"

"Well, I was hoping that you knew where Ziva was, so that we could send her that info. That way you could talk to her whenever you wanted."

Tony was incredulous. "You did that? For _me_?"

McGee sighed. "Yes, Tony. Open your eyes. In spite of everything, there are people out there who care about you. Just make sure you don't drive them all away."

Tony squirmed on his seat pushing himself forward with his valid arm and just managed to stand up when his knees gave up under him and he started falling to the ground. Fortunately, McGee had pre-empted his move and caught him before he reached the ground.

"What do you think you were doing, Tony."

"Coming to say thanks, Probie."

"There's no need, Tony."

Both men were standing, hugging each other between their respective desks.

"Uh... I don't know about you but I don't want the scuttlebutt..."

"Yeah, fine. Put me back down."

As McGee carefully placed him back on his chair, Tony's hand caught McGee's arm as he lifted his head up to connect with him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"No, I really mean it. Thanks for the wake-up call... I owe you one."

"I'll collect."

McGee sat back at his desk and opened the first file on his neglected pile when Tony's voice resounded through the office.

"AND THANKS FOR LOVING ME, MCGEE", his smile etched across his face.

Tim buried his head in the file, shaking his head in disarray. Tony was back.

_________________________________________________________________________________

**OK, give me two more chapters and we'll go and get Ziva.**

**Next chapter will be all Gibbs/Ducky and Gibbs/Tony.**


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N: The long awaited chapter 22 is at last up. Sorry for the lack of update. Writer's block hit me really badly and this is my fourth attempt at this chapter. Hope you'll like it. Thanks for the reviewer who pointed out to me I previously put up the wrong (and very short) chapter**__._

_________________________________________________________________________________

"…_And so, well, McGee's being an ass again…"_

"You glued my fingers to the clicker!"

"… _Don't listen to him, he's a bit cranky today… I needed a little pick-me-up this morning and glue always cheers me up. Anyway. Abby's playing with the evidence from our human jigsaw puzzle this week…"_

It was raining outside and the orange walls of the office looked browner than usual. McGee was cleaning what was left of the glue on his fingers when Gibbs emerged from the elevator.

"…_body near Anacostia, which had been hanged, drawn and quartered in true medieval style…"_

Gibbs walked past McGee's desk and sat down at his, sipping his coffee whilst opening the file on his desk.

"Run out of acetone, McGee?"

"Pretty much. I wish he would stop doing that."

"…_She's still not talking to him and her CafPow withdrawal symptoms aren't as bad as they were last week…"_

"What's he doing anyway?"

"The usual. He's talking to…" Tim leaned forward as if to utter a secret and murmured, "You-Know-Who".

"I can hear you McPotter. Oh, hi boss!"

"We're chirpy today, Tony?"

"Must be that breakfast of yours, boss." Gibbs sent me a wry smile and when back to his file.

It was three months since the boy had moved with him. To start with it had been pretty difficult, with Tony being badly injured and in pain most of the time and yet refusing help from his friends. Whilst their cohabitation was still tense, it was at least cordial, although the two men barely exchanged any meaningful thought. Gibbs still hadn't managed to get out of Tony exactly what had happened in the warehouse and, much to his annoyance the senior agent still wouldn't admit where Ziva was.

Gibbs looked in McGee's direction. The young agent was painstakingly applying acetone to each of his fingertips with a swab. McGee had told him weeks ago about the camera on the frame, but neither of them had managed to find how Tony had sent the address to Ziva.

"Have you worked out how she picks up the messages?"

"No, I just know she does. I can track when the messages were opened, although, for her own safety, I have ensured that we can't trace where it was opened from. In hindsight…"

Tony had stopped babbling along to frame. He didn't care anymore and the looks he received from fellow office workers and they in turn had become accustomed to Tony's little shrine to Ziva. Her absence hadn't gone unnoticed but they were all too afraid of Gibbs to ask any question.

DiNozzo reverently put the frame back on his desk, sighed and sat back in his chair, his eyes fixed upon the team picture.

"You really want to know how she got the address?" His voice was downbeat again, as it always was once he stopped talking to the frame.

McGee glanced at Gibbs, his face betraying surprise and tension. Gibbs took off his reading glasses, neatly folded the file and placed it carefully at the corner of his desk before interlocking his hand and looking fixedly at his senior agent.

"Amongst other things…"

"You know, when we were children…" He turned towards McGee. "…before computers existed, we sometimes used to receive those chain letters that promised you that if you sent five friends a postcard and then they did the same, you'd receive hundreds of postcards in a few weeks' time. Well, it never worked for me and I never received any letter back, must have been the picture I was sending. You see, my mother insisted that I send a picture of me as a new born on a sheepskin…"

"DiNozzo, your point?"

McGee repressed a strong urge to snigger.

"I sent a chain letter to Ziva. Or rather, I sent a letter to Roger, you know, my neighbour, the boat guy, asking him to send the letter inside to a friend of his, who would send it to a friend of his, who would send it to Ziva. Each of the senders could discuss what they were about to send to their friend on the phone, so that they would agree to pass it on. Only the last person would find out Ziva's location, but given that I don't know who that person is, I thought it'd be pretty safe."

McGee pouted in approbation. "That's actually very clever of you Tony. Found your inspiration in a movie?"

"Ever seen Chain Letter McGee?"

"Hmmm, don't think so…"

"ENOUGH!" Gibbs shouted as his phone started ringing. "Break is over, get back to work."

Gibbs had hardly picked up the phone that he hung up. His demeanour had changed drastically in two seconds but neither agent could work out how or why. Gibbs stood up and ran up the stairs to MTAC.

McGee burrowed down into his computer, typing frantically to avoid Tony's confused gaze. He didn't know any more than him what was going on, but they'd both know soon enough.

With his left hand, Tony reached for his heart and clasped the Star of David in his hand till his knuckles went white, then slowly released it. As time went by, he seemed to do it less often, at least in public, Tim observed, but it was still revealing of the impact Ziva's absence had had on the senior agent.

McGee reflected on the past few months. His budding relationship with Abby was going from strength to strength and, other than her current feud with Gibbs, everything was sort of back to normal. Although they both missed Ziva and wished she would come back, they had adapted to their new life without her and had moved on… Which couldn't be said of Gibbs and even less of Tony.

Gibbs emerged from MTAC and run back downstairs. Half-way down the open staircase, he shouted out:

"DiNozzo, meeting room. Now!"

If Tony's eyes could kill, Gibbs would have been flattened in less than a second. Even after three months, Tony still had difficulties walking about and even the distance to the elevator would cause him more discomfort than he would have liked. Grabbing his crutches, he shuffled his way to the elevator.

The door closed behind him and he steadied himself by leaning against the wall. He heard the emergency switch click as the downward motion of the cabin was interrupted.

Gibbs' face was undecipherable.

"What would you give in exchange for good news?"

"Why, you got any?"

"Depends"

"On what?"

"Do you really know where Ziva is?" Gibbs tone was getting angrier and more inquisitive by the minute. This wasn't a conversation, this was an interrogation.

"Yes, I do."

"How?"

"You don't need to know that."

"The hell I don't. I need to know. NOW!"

Tony pondered for a minute, his eyes locked on the shiny handrail behind Gibbs.

"What difference will it make? I'm not ready to compromise her security."

"What if it is already compromised?"

"It can't be."

"Why?"

Gibbs' face was so close that Tony could feel his breath on his neck. This was a fight for power, and although Tony had the knowledge, Gibbs had the skills and therefore the upper hand. Tony considered his options and realised that he wouldn't get out of this one easily.

"Because of the video. Ziva used something that ties her up to one place and one place only."

"What was that?" Gibbs asked quietly, his anger now abating.

"The films she used in the video. They're all part of the same set. My set."

"Ziva's in your apartment?"

Tony sniggered. "Really, do you think all the films I own are kept on my shelf?" Incredulous, Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "You don't?"

" No, I keep an archive of my collection in…" He stopped dead in his tracks. "Wait, wait… I told you what you wanted to know, now. What's the good news?"

"Ziva's been granted American citizenship."

"Woohoo…" To Gibbs' amazement, Tony sounded absolutely dejected. "So now she can stay in the country but she'll have to get herself a new life to escape her family and Mossad. That's pathetic."

As he spat out those last words, he saw the hint of a smile on his boss's face.

"Anything else you wanted to tell me?" he enquired tentatively.

"Depends how much else _you_ want to tell me."

Tony sighed. "It figures. Listen, there's no point in telling you where Ziva is if we can't do anything for her."

"I wanna know why she's on the run from Mossad, and why they tried to kill you." His voice was composed yet DiNozzo couldn't help but noticing his muscles tensing, his fists clenched at his sides. Tony ran his hands over his face in a desperate attempt to find a way out, but found none. Gibbs's eyes were as piercing as ever and never left their target.

After two minutes silence, Tony gave up: "I know Ziva killed Ari."

_________________________________________________________________________________

Alone in the bullpen, McGee had decided to make his way to Abby's lab. Opportunities to go and work with the forensic expert had dwindled over the past few months, what with the team being one and a half person down and Gibbs asking him to cover crime scenes and Ziva's outstanding paperwork. As he crossed the door, Abby harangued him:

"Listen, I don't care how many CafPows you withdraw from me, or whether you come in peace, I'm still mad at you and I still haven't found how they dismembered Corporal Stallwaith so GO AWAY G…" She turned round. "Oh, sorry Timmy. Didn't know it was you."

She seized the large container out of his hand and started slurping noisily.

"Still haven't buried the hatchet then?"

"No. Gibbs hasn't visited me or given me anything since Tony came back."

"Why are you upset with him anyway, Abs?"

"I'm not upset, McGee, I'm scared. Scared that he might abandon us again." She shook her head frantically, her ponytails bouncing against her cheeks. "I can't live with that fear, Timmy. I need to know he'll always be there!"

"Gibbs is no Superman, Abs. he can't promise he's never gonna get shot, or injured, or even retire."

"But I can't…" Sneaking behind her, McGee threw his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I know it's not enough, Abs, but I'll always be there for you." She turned round to face him. He could read sadness on her features.

"I wish you wouldn't, Tim."

"What?"

"Think you're less important to me than Gibbs. You've got very different places in my heart." She kissed him lightly before going back to her work.

"Anyway", McGee continued, slightly flustered, "I've come to ask a favour. Do you still have access to the security cameras from your PC?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Gibbs has taken Tony to the elevator and they're still in there. The Director's furious he's had to take the SecNav through the stairs…"

"You want me to _spy _on them?" Abby suggested as she turned the camera on.

"Well, it's not really spying, we don't have the sound."

__________________________________________________________________________________

"Did Ziva told you?"

"Yeah." Tony tried to loosen his collar with a finger. Gibbs had visibly been taken aback by the revelation but the confined space of the elevator, the heat and the tension between the two men were taking their toll.

"How's that got anything to do with what happened?"

Tony sighed. "I hoped you wouldn't ask."

"Is that why they're after her?"

Tony's head dropped down, intently focused on the floor.

Gibbs got closer. "Tony, look at me. Is that why they went after her?"

"No."

"Then, why, Tony, WHY?" DiNozzo's discomfort seemed to escalate with Gibbs's anger. The old agent noticed that his charge was struggling to stay standing and took a step back to let him breathe.

"Sit down, you look pale."

Tony slid down to the ground. Gibbs sat next to him.

" If this is all to do with Ari, why did they come after you?!"

" That's what you call bargaining power."

"Blackmail?"

"Yeah."

"But for what?"

Tony sighed once more. "To get Ziva to do what she was sent back to do when the team was reunited."

"She was sent back as a mole?"

"No. Not a mole. They've sent her back with a contract."

Silence fell on the elevator, until Gibbs's head spun round as thoughts collided in his brain. He gasped in horror as the truth hit him. The two men exchanged a knowing look which seemed to last forever.

Gibbs patted the young man on the shoulder as he stood up.

"I'm sorry, Tony."

"Sign of weakness, boss."

"Not when you got caught in something you had no knowledge of."

"You know what they say, boss. What you don't know can't hurt you."

"Well, it did, didn't it."

"In more ways than one."

Gibbs flicked the emergency switch again and the elevator continued its downward course.

Wait… What WAS the good news?"

Gibbs stretch his hand to help Tony up.

"Ziva's back on the team."

Tony's eyes shot up. "How c…" Gibbs hoisted the agent up and was surprised when DiNozzo ended up hugging him, whispering with a quivering voice. "Thanks, boss."

"You're welcome." The two men stood side by side again as the doors opened onto the basement.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Dear all.**_

_**Sorry for the delay in updating. I have been very ill over the last couple of months and I honestly can't find the energy or the concentration I need to write a whole chapter. This one's a bit of a filler until the next one, so don't be too disappointed. I promise I'll finish this story, although I don't know how long it'll take. **_

_**Thanks once more to those who added me to their favourites list recently. It really make my day everytime this happens. **_

_**AC**_

_____________________________________________________________________

McGee hardly had time to minimize the camera feed that Gibbs and Tony came in.

"Spying on us McGee?"

"Uh, no boss, just helping Abby with some…"

"What if we were", interrupted Abby with a defiant glare. Her feud with Gibbs clearly wasn't over yet.

Gibbs stared at her in a neutral and indecipherable way she was unaccustomed to. Slowly, he walked towards her, place his hand carefully on her shoulder and leaned towards her until his lips brushed her ear, his face covered by her jet-black hair.

Neither McGee nor Tony heard what he told her, but Abby's face froze for a second, her eyes wide-opened in shock and her cheeks unusually flushed. She turned back to the screen and started typing frantically, closing in the process the window that had allowed them to peer into the elevator.

"So, anyway, the dismembered body had some particles on it, and, you won't believe it, but…"

"Abby…"

"there were traces of mace spray AND bubble liquid, you know, the industrial kind they use for…

"Abs…" Gibbs called again.

"Foam Fests!" McGee cried, much to Tony's amazement.

"Since when do you go to Big Max's Foam Fests, McBubbly?!"

"Well, let's say that's one advantage of being famous…"

Gibbs had crossed his arms across his chest and sighed deeply. His agents were a bunch of kids at times, but that's what made them so special to him. They were _his_ kids.

He let them bicker about the case for a while, until their voices subsided as they noticed their boss's silence.

"Tony?"

"Yeah, boss?" he replied, mimicking Gibb's voice, which cost his head a good whack.

"Care to tell Abby and McGee why we came to see them?"

"Uhh, yeah, sure. Ziva's back."

"WHAT?" Abby screamed. "Where is she? Is she here? Can I see her? Is she alright?"

"Abs, Abs, Abs" Gibbs grabbed her arm, trying to disentangle her from Tony, whose face was becoming redder by the minute. "She's not there, Abs, she's not there yet."

"But… But where is she, then? Is she ok?"

"DiNozzo thinks so. Tony?"

"Yeah. I know where Ziva is, and I know she's safe."

Abs got closer to him again and started thumping his chest with her fists, causing him to trip backwards and falling into McGee's arms, who had pre-empted the move.

"You knew it all this time and you never said?"

Tony panted, trying to recover his countenance, before continuing. "I was just trying to keep her safe, Abs. As long as nobody knew where she was, she was safe. Plus McGee knows that she received our messages, so we know that she's at leisure to do so and not on the run."

Abby seemed only half convinced by Tony's explanation.

"But how do you know for sure where she is? Did she call you? Coz I checked your phone records and…"

"You did WHAT?"

She protested back. "Gibbs asked me!"

Tony turned towards his leader who acquiesced silently.

Mc Gee, who had been observing the scene unfolding from the sidelines, piped up:

"So why wait till now? I mean, couldn't we have gone and got her back months ago?"

"Good question, McGee." answered Gibbs. "Director Vance has just confirmed to me that Ziva has been made a formal offer to work as an NCIS agent. She'll be allocated to my team."

Abby clapped her hands in excitement. "So, when does she come back?"

"Dunno, ask DiNozzo. He doesn't want to tell me where Ziver is".

Somehow, hearing Gibbs mentioning her name for the first time in weeks sent shivers down their spines.

Tony felt compelled to provide an answer. "Well, I don't know. I'll need to let Ziva know first, but Maybe Gibbs and I could go and pick her up, sometime."

"No! I want to come with you too. And McGee. After all we've done to find Ziva, I want to be there when she comes back. And we need a date and, oh, we could have a welcome back party. With balloons. You always need balloons for a good party…"

Although he wasn't sure why that would be, McGee noticed that Tony didn't seem that happy at present, and he certainly seemed irritated by Abby's over-chirpiness. With a gesture to Tony and Gibbs intimating them to leave while they could, he placed his hands on Abby's shoulders. "Right, what else would you need for a good party.

______________________________________________________________________________

Gibbs was more than grateful that McGee's quick thinking had enabled them to escape the forensics' den. In the confines of the elevator, he took a good look at Tony, observing like McGee had done that Tony wasn't as happy as he should have been.

"Something bothering you, DiNozzo?"

"No."

The agent clearly wasn't intent on talking about it.

"Can I ask you a question, Gibbs?"

"You sure can."

"What did you tell Abby when we came in?"

Gibbs pulled the emergency switch.

"Why do you need to know?"

"Curiosity."

"It's not of your business."

"I know."

Gibbs sighed. "I told her what she needed to hear. What I have taken for granted all those years and never took the time to tell her." He paused. "And I apologised."

Tony raised an eyebrow. Gibbs was honest with him, it would be courtesy to return the honour.

"I just didn't want things to turn out like this. I always hoped that she'd come back one day, or that she'd be safe and I could go and see her, but this… This is just too much, too quickly. I'm not ready for this."

"You will be" Gibbs answered with a smile, switching the elevator back in motion.

________________________________________________________________________________

"…Right. So we'll arrive just before lunch. Well, maybe earlier because Gibbs is driving. Abby and McGee are coming too so that'll be four of us. Ducky would have loved to come but he needs to go and see his mother. I guess you'll see him on Monday. I… We can't wait to see you. "

Tony put the frame back onto the table. Both Gibbs and McGee were looking at him, smiling to themselves.

"What?"

"So all this time she was within driving distance of us and you never told me?" McGee contemplated.

"No, gluing you to office stationery was much funnier."

Tony sighed again before turning towards Gibbs.

"What if she doesn't want to come back, boss?"

"Is that what bothers you, DiNozzo?"

The agent nodded.

"Have you asked her?"

Tony answered arrogantly. "Boss, I can _talk_ to her, but she can't _answer _me." Gibbs moved over to his desk and not so tenderly head slapped him. "You quit that tone with me Tony. Just tell her to let us know and we won't bother her."


	24. Chapter 24

_**Special thanks to **__**ShadowHunter and to all those who signed up to the story. I've just noticed that anonymous reviews were disabled on my account, so now you can review all you want without having to log in. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**_

_**AC**_

_**______________________________________________________________________________**_

Faithful to Gibbs' instructions, Tony had asked Ziva's picture to let them know if they weren't welcome. Three days later, the message had been read and as no answer had come their way, Vance took them off weekend duty and the expedition set out.

It was a nice Saturday morning. Not beautiful by any stretch of the imagination, not perfect. Just Nice. Small clouds in the sky and dogs barking in the street outside Abby's condo. For the occasion, Gibbs had rented a bigger car that would hold the five of them on the way back and any luggage they may need to transport. Tony had now dropped clutches and canes altogether, but he still needed his space, and neither McGee nor Abby would fit comfortably behind him in his car.

He was glad of his choice when he saw Abby appear outside. The goth had surpassed herself. Casually dressed in a black pleated mini-skirt, knee-high, leather-strapped, three-inch heal boots and an unusually bright blood-red t-shirt which proclaimed in a gory font "Welcome back". Along with her came an array of bags and a large picnic basket overflowing with muffins and other delicacies.

"What?" she questioned Gibbs as she peered through the driver's window. "Tony said we needed to bring enough for a sleepover. Plus it's only five am and I thought that you'd all want breakfast and then…" She caught her breath. "I don't know whether Ziva's been well fed and I just wanted her to feel welcome and…"

Gibbs relented. "Fine". He got out of the car and opened the boot whilst Abby took her place on the passenger seat.

"Where next?"

McGee was next to be picked up. He took his place behind Jethro, mumbling the usual civilities, hardly awake. Tony had regained full use of his flat a few days ago, and was last on Gibbs' pickup and drop-off list. As he parked outside the block of flats, he saw Tony's silhouette sat on the threshold of the lobby, anxiously waiting for them.

The team leader couldn't help noticing how much his once jovial agent had changed. Serious and forlorn when he once had been, or pretended to have been jocular and carefree. On reflection, although this change had been drastically more noticeable over the last few months, it seemed to stem further back, as if there had always been more to the man than what he wanted to show. The recent events had just reduced to ruins the walls of happy assurance and light-heartedness that Tony had so carefully build around him.

"Tony!" Abby got out of the car and greeted her friend with a tight hug. "I'm just so, so happy we're going to see Ziva today! Listen, are you hungry, coz I've got some muffins and a lot of coffee at the back for you, as I thought you'd be hungry and given I assume it's a long trip I thought…"

"That'd be very nice, Abs." He sat down at the front whilst she opened the boot and took some goodies out to distribute them to her co-travellers. She then shuffled next to McGee and Gibbs started the engine again.

"Where are we going, Tony?"

"North. Take the 95 towards Baltimore."

Within an hour both McGee and Abby were asleep at the back. Abby's head rested against Tim's shoulder. Tony smiled as he observed his Probie dribbling slightly, his head tilted back.

"They're both asleep, boss, you can speed up if you want."

Gibbs's eyes remained focused on the road. "Nah." After a minute's silence, he added quietly. "Where are we going Tony?"

The senior agent shook his head. "You'll know in due course."

Gibbs glanced at his agent. His stance was neutral, but a small smile etched itself on his lips, whilst his eyes betrayed something akin to anxiety.

"You're alright, DiNozzo?"

"Fine, never better."

The young agent would not relent. A softer approach was required. Gibbs pulled over at the nearest diner. "Mind if I get a coffee?"

"No." Gibbs stopped the engine.

"Come on, I'll get you one. Sugar and cream and all…"

The two men left the back passengers to sleep and sat down on the first shabby bar stools they could find. Gibbs ordered two coffees and treated Tony to some pancakes.

"Tony, why the hell won't you tell me where we're going?" The voice was soft but inquisitive.

"Because it tells a lot more about me than you think. I guess it might… disappoint."

"Digging too deep for comfort?"

"Something like that. Guess to venture where we're heading next?"

Gibbs cocked his head to one side. "Philly?"

Tony smiled as Gibbs continued to tread carefully "Return to the roots?"

"Yeah, you could shay sho." He swallowed his mouthful of pancakes. "Brings back memories. Not all good, not all bad."

"Brings back who you really are…" The voice of experience percolated through.

"Guess so."

Gibbs stood up and threw a few notes on the counter before grabbing his paper up. As he turned round towards the door, he wacked Tony at the back of the head.

"Oy! What was that for?"

"Stop doubting yourself DiNozzo. Stop doubting _us. _And be thankful for what you've got."

"Yes boss." They sat back in the car and drove away towards Philadelphia.

_________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful, other than the numerous stops that had to be made to accommodate Abby's incredibly small bladder and massive urge for a continuous provision of Caf'Pow. After Philly they continued towards the north east.

At last, as they passed Brentwood, Tony started giving out specific instructions, until they stopped outside a slightly isolated, luxurious house bordered with manicured gardens and a little wood on the left.

"What the hell is that, Tony?" enquired Gibbs as they stood out of the car.

"That's, uhh, the DiNozzos' summer house." He answered almost apologetically.

Abby's eyes betrayed her surprise and McGee grabbed her hand to hold her back. "Do you mean, it's yours?"

"Nah, it's actually my dad's, but he hasn't set foot in it since, well, since my mother died, so it's technically all mine. Not that I could ever afford the upkeep."

Gibbs couldn't help but smile with pride at his protégé's cunning retreat for Ziva. "I guess nobody knows you own this."

"Well, no, although _you_ do now. I'd appreciate if you could keep it quiet."

"Could I borrow it for the holidays?" Abby enquired, nudging Timmy in the process.

Tony rolled his eyes.

As he stepped onto the tiled path leading to the front door, a woman appeared at the door. Dark-haired, about 1m65 tall and very rotund she emerged from the house and started running towards them.

"Uh", McGee asked with alarm, "would Ziva put on that much weight in three months?"

Tony smiled and walked towards the woman. As he got closer to her, he opened his arms and she hugged him, greeting him with a strong Spanish accent.

"Mister T. It is so good to see you again. You will see I have taken great care of Miss Kate."

Tony winced at the name, so inaccurately yet innocently used.

Releasing himself from the embrace, he introduced the lady to his colleagues, who now stood by him, uttely bemused.

"This is Rosa. She looks after the house for me. She's been with us since I was about 10."

"I know everything one needs to know about Mister Tony." Gibbs smiled. No doubt Abby would enjoy talking with Rosa. To his surprise, the woman walked towards him.

"It is such an honour to meet you, Major Gibbs. I have heard so much about you."

"Rosa, I told you he's not a maj…" She turned towards McGee,"And you must be Mr Gemcity. I am so happy to meet you. I couldn't believe it when Master Anthony told me that he worked with you. Such a famous and brilliant author. I have read your books and I hope you will sign them for me."

McGee blushed. "I sure will."

Then she turned towards Abby. "Then you must be Miss Abby. I have heard a lot about you. I understand you like bowling?"

By the looks on his colleagues' face, Tony guessed it wouldn't take long for them to fall under the charm of Rosa. "Now, Miss Kate and I have prepared lunch for everybody. So, come on, get inside."

Before anyone had time to move, Tony asked. "Rosa, where is Ziv… Kate?"

"I'm here."


	25. Chapter 25

**Thanks again to ShadowHunter for continued support.**

* * *

er voice, like her body, was ethereal. Her hand resting on the solid doorframe, she wore a simple light yellow and white dress with flower patterns which made her olive skin look darker and healthier than ever. The curls of her hair were draped over her shoulders and, as the sun kissed her face with a few stray rays, a sort of golden glow seemed to appear all around her, as if she were a vision. She looked radiant. Or so thought Tony.

Before anybody had time to catch their breath at this sudden apparition, Abby sprinted towards the door.

"Ziva! Oh, I'm so pleased to see you. We've been looking for you everywhere and Tony… Well, he wouldn't tell us where you were and…" Unusually, Ziva opened her arms and embraced Abby in a tight hug. "I've missed you too, Abby."

As they continued to babble and McGee strode away to join the reunion and greet Ziva, Gibbs noticed how Tony's body had tightened. His fists were clutched at his sides, his eyes wide open with some kind of panic, wallowing endlessly between his boss and the housekeeper.

The petite but stout woman moved swiftly to place herself between Gibbs and Tony. With a familiarity which didn't go unnoticed by Gibbs, she wrapped her right arm around Tony, her left hand landing on his.

"I am not a fool, Mr T. I do remember from the pictures in your room what Miss Kate looked like. And I remember the time you came here a few years ago and you told me your partner had died."

She paused for a minute, looking up to check whether Tony's features were relaxing. Glancing back at the happy figures on the threshold, she continued.

"She came one morning, I had just finished cleaning the dining room. I don't know why I bother, because nobody uses it, but… Nevermind. She was at the end of the road; I could see her from the kitchen window. She stayed there for a couple of hours, and looked a bit confused. I went to talk to her but she walked away." She paused again.

"Then I noticed she was back a few hours later, and I went to talk to her again. This time I said "Are you a friend of Tony's?" before she had time to go away and she said yes."

"She looked very confused, and a bit strange too. She showed me a key and told me that she had been invited to stay at Mr DiNozzo's place. I told her she was in the right place but she didn't seem to believe me."

Tony's lips curled in a smile. "That's probably because I told her it was a log cabin."

Gibbs smirked and Rosa looked momentarily confused.

"Aaahhh… Well, she told me she was called Kate Todd. She looked a bit strange, your friend, but she had the key and she knows you and she looks like the lady on the picture in your room. So I took her in."

Tony could sense that the older woman was looking for some reassurance that she had not overstepped her powers.

"You've done the right thing, Rosa. I knew you would."

The portly lady smiled back at him and patted his hand absentmindedly before exclaiming:

"Oh, no! I have left the oven on and lunch is going to be burnt." She hurried back to the house, shuffling her way past the three friends still hugging and laughing with each other before disappearing into the house.

"Great lady." Gibbs broke the silence.

Both men were standing about ten meters from the house, their eyes set on Ziva, whose smile didn't wear off as she talked animatedly to her friends.

"Yes, she is."

Neither moved, neither talked. Nothing needed to be said, they were just savouring the instant, looking upon this treasured moment as outsiders, as if to better appreciate it.

"Nice house." Gibbs commented after a while. Ziva had started glancing in their direction but, for some reason, didn't seem inclined to come over and greet them.

Tony smiled. "I knew she wouldn't come if I told her what it looked like. That was the safest place I could think of."

Gibbs nodded appreciatively. Surprisingly, Tony volunteered more thoughts of his own.

"I've missed her, boss."

"I know."

Ziva chose this moment to approach them, as though tentatively. Her smile had vanished. She showed McGee and Abby through to the house, where they were once more greeted by Rosa, before moving closer. Her gait was hesitant, awkward, as if she had to make a conscious effort to force her feet to walk forwards. As she stood in front of them, her gaze was directed only at Gibbs, much to Tony's dismay. All of a sudden, he wasn't so sure that coming here had been a good idea, not so sure that she would want to see them, to see him, not so sure that _he_ wanted to delve again into their last conversation and all their unspoken history.

Looking defiantly into Gibbs's blue eyes, her body as immobile as a statue, she spoke:

"I'm sorry, Gibbs." She sighed. "I know that you trusted me and I abused that trust. It is unforgivable and I do not expect you to understand why I ever felt I needed to take on this mission. I do not think I ever had much a choice, but I should have been honest with you. I hope you know that I would never have tried to carry out my mission. I hope you know how much I wanted to get back to DC. It was a mistake. I should not have been so selfish. I should not have been so weak. I ignored the risks that I would incur to others. I was soft. It won't happen again. I…"

Ziva lost all power of speech when she felt Gibbs slowly lean toward her and place a kiss on her cheek before hugging carefully, his arms surrounding her almost tenderly.

"It's nice to have you back, Ziva. We've missed you. Hell, I've missed you." Nestled on his shoulder, her eyes filled up with unwonted tears of relief and surprise at the compassion Gibbs could muster towards her.

Tony took notice and reflected on the solitary existence that must have been hers until now, that she should consider such gesture as an act of greatness. Little did she know how much she was loved, and how far they would have gone to get her back. Muttering to herself, she repeated her apologies, lone tears rolling slowly down her cheek and onto his shoulder. Gibbs' pulled back from the embrace slightly and lifted her chin so as to ensure his stare would have its full intended impact.

"Never apologise".

She smiled back and almost chuckled. "It's a sign of weakness."

"Now get yourself back together. I'll go and check Abby's not already driven Rosa crazy." He disappeared up the path and through the front door.


End file.
